Ascension President: Graduation Brawl, Body in Median Prove Parish More Than Just Chem Plants, Meth Labs

Last week’s fracas at a high school graduation ceremony and the discovery of a body in an interstate median Monday demonstrate Ascension Parish is not just some sleepy bedroom community with petrochemical plants and clandestine labs producing crystal methamphetamine, according to its top elected official.

Ascension Parish President Kenny Matassa cited the pair of recent events to illustrate how his parish has much more to offer residents than good public schools, petrochemical industry jobs, and meth labs.

“We had all kinds of media here. Traffic was backed up for miles. It was anything but boring.”

“A lot of people think we’re some boring, quiet suburb where parents move just to get away from the Baton Rouge school system, but the all-out brawl between supposed adults at the East Ascension High School graduation ceremony proves our award-winning schools can also offer the kind of excitement usually only found in big cities,” Matassa said. He added, “This parish isn’t just chemical plants and meth labs, folks.”

In addition to referencing the melee during East Ascension’s commencement exercise, which led to the arrest of four women, Matassa touted Ascension’s myriad entertainment options by also alluding to the discovery of an apparent hit-and-run victim’s body along I-10 just north of the La. 74 overpass.

“We had all kinds of media here. Traffic was backed up for miles. It was anything but boring,” Matassa explained.  “It just goes to show Ascension is way more cosmopolitan than people give us credit for.”RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Tony Swartz

Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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