Hillary Clinton Supporter Injured After Falling From Anti-Sanders High Horse

A brashly condescending supporter of Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign suffered moderate injuries after falling from her anti-Bernie Sanders high horse.

Donna Heyer, of Baton Rouge, was reportedly atop her high horse, using both of her hands to demonstrate the size of Clinton’s delegate lead over Sen. Sanders, when she lost her balance and came crashing down to the ground.

EMS rushed the 32-year-old lawyer to the emergency room at Baton Rouge General Hospital on Bluebonnet Boulevard for treatment. Despite being in obvious pain, Heyer still managed to explain to medics during transport how Sanders is “harming the Democratic Party” by not dropping out of the race, despite the fact that Clinton stayed in the 2008 presidential race until June.

Doctors at the hospital report Heyer was treated for a severely strained superior aspect, a ruptured vein glorious, and an extremely overactive gallbladder.

Donna Heyer was reportedly atop her high horse, using both of her hands to demonstrate the size of Clinton’s delegate lead over Sen. Sanders, when she lost her balance.

“After just talking to her for a couple of minutes about the Democratic race, we could tell she has a lot of gall,” Dr. Matt Roberts said. “We’re also concerned about her pancreas, given her high level of insolence.”

Additionally, Roberts indicated Heyer may have suffered some nerve damage from the fall, but he feels that shouldn’t create any health issues for her.

“She’s got a lot of nerve. Just look at her smug, demeaning, social media posts about Sanders and his supporters,” Roberts explained. “A little nerve damage shouldn’t bother her.”

Heyer seemed to be in good spirits at the hospital, vowing to soon get back on her high horse to resume casting aspersions at Sanders and those who still support him.

“I’ll be back on that thing yelling ‘SCOREBOARD’ in no time,” Heyer promised. “As bad as I got hurt, at least I didn’t have to go to the Bern unit. No one comes out of there alive. Get it?!?”RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Tony Swartz

Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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