LA GOP Chairman Roger Villere: “Trump Doesn’t Have the Lobes to Sue”

The grand nagus of the Louisiana Republican Party claims Donald Trump lacks the wherewithal to follow through on his threats to sue the state GOP over allocation of delegates following the March 5 primary.

Roger Villere said Trump was just blustering when he tweeted Sunday night, “Just to show you how unfair Republican primary politics can be, I won the State of Louisiana and got less delegates than (Sen. Ted) Cruz-Lawsuit coming.”

“Donald Trump doesn’t have the lobes to sue the Louisiana Republican Party,” Villere said while holding a staff topped with a golden likeness of himself. “He’s too shrewd of a businessman to foolishly give his gold-pressed latinum to lawyers to pursue a case he will obviously lose.”

While most people — including Trump, apparently — assume the winner of the state primary would be awarded the most delegates, the state’s five “unbound” delegates could potentially back second-place finisher Cruz. Same goes for the five delegates won by Sen. Marco Rubio, who has since dropped out of the race, which means Cruz could get up to 10 more delegates than Trump, even though the billionaire won by 4 percentage points.

“In Louisiana, we call this a ‘democratic process.’ Rule of Acquisition No. 239 says, ‘Never be afraid to mislabel a product.’”

Villere admitted Louisiana GOP rules are rather convoluted, and justifiably so.

“In Louisiana, we call this a ‘democratic process.’ Rule of Acquisition No. 239 says, ‘Never be afraid to mislabel a product,'” Villere maintains. “This isn’t personal. It’s just business. Trump should understand that.”

He continued, “Look, I actually admire Trump. He has acquired massive amounts of gold-pressed latinum, and he knows how to treat females. I’ve seen images of his wives: no clothes, as it should be.”

As for the Trump campaign moving forward with an attempt to decertify the Louisiana delegates to the GOP National Convention, Villere remained defiant and doubtful of Trump’s ability to succeed.

“Trump thinks he’s going to liquidate our delegates?” Villere posited. “Well, he had better watch his back in Cleveland, because his delegates may very well become our delegates, and then he can watch his campaign go to the Vault of Eternal Destitution.”RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

Check Also

Cortana Mall to Be Taken Off Life Support

Doctors at Our Lady of Lake Hospital sadly report a former major shopping venue will soon be taken off life support.