In the April cover story of Harper’s Magazine published this week, journalist Dan Baum writes about his 1994 interview with President Richard Nixon’s former aide John Ehrlichman. Baum reports that Ehrlichman, who served 18 months in prison for his role in Watergate and was Nixon’s chief domestic adviser when the president launched the “war on drugs” in 1971, admitted the war on drugs was designed to actively target the black population.

Well, color me surprised. You mean to tell me that the thing everyone has been saying since the ’90s is true?! Astounding.

This means the crazy-high incarceration rates for the black population on minor drug charges isn’t just an unintended side effect of Nixon’s little whoopsie-doodle? No way!

You mean to tell me that the thing everyone has been saying since the ’90s is true?! Astounding.

That would mean former president Richard Nixon was a less-than-reputable character, which I personally find SO HARD to believe. Look at that man’s puppy-dog face. Specifically, a basset hound puppy dog. Would those wobbling jowls impose immoral legislation just to help himself and his administration? No shit.

With everything Nixon DEFINITELY did, is this really that surprising to people? The dude was a dick, and not because his name was Richard. He would have killed Jesus with his bare hands if killing a Middle Eastern Jew would boost his approval ratings.

It just happened to be that the war on drugs is what helped him keep a foothold on the presidency for a little while longer. It’s too bad that it was a policy that helped the definitely racist cops across the country have more reasons to be definitely racist.

I’m so thankful that Nixon had Kennedy killed before he could do anything good. Otherwise, we might not have had this amazing drug war holding the entire country back for decades!

Ugh. Fuck white people, man.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Evan Rabalais

Evan Rabalais is a standup comedian from Baton Rouge, LA. He also knows how to read and write, which his parents are more proud of.

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