Jindal Claims IHOP Contributing to the Europeanization of America

The International House of Pancakes isn’t just feeding Americans European-style food, according to Republican presidential hopeful Bobby Jindal.

The two-term governor of Louisiana told a gathering of potential voters at an Iowa pizza restaurant yesterday that the national chain known better as IHOP is influencing millions of Americans to embrace the liberal socioeconomic policies of many foreign countries by promoting scrumptious dishes inspired by those nations.

Jindal explained to the lunch crowd at the Pizza Ranch in Decorah, IA, how IHOP is “complicitly aiding” President Barack Obama’s agenda of making America more like Europe and the rest of the world.

“Obama and IHOP are hellbent on turning the American dream into the European nightmare,” Jindal said. “They, and others on the left like Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, won’t rest until America becomes a socialist country overrun by Muslim extremists, just like many of the European countries represented on the IHOP menu.”

“I can’t tell if it’s a pancake place or the United Nations.”

Despite the popular restaurant’s all-American image, Jindal described how IHOP is subtly promoting acceptance of less-than-American ideals with its fare and, in some locations, its interior.

Bobby Jindal addresses a gathering at the Pizza Ranch in Decorah, IA.
Bobby Jindal addresses a gathering at the Pizza Ranch in Decorah, IA.

“Just look at some of IHOP’s most popular dishes,” Jindal remarked. “Four types of Belgian waffles. Six types of French toast. Nine types of crepes, including Swedish crepes. That’s almost as depressing as living in Sweden.”

He added, “Plus, throughout many of their restaurants, you’ll see the flags of dozens of foreign countries etched in glass. I can’t tell if it’s a pancake place or the United Nations.”

Jindal concluded his campaign speech by inviting the modest crowd to join him in partaking of some of the nearby buffet tables’ offerings.

“Now let’s enjoy one of my favorite real American meals: pizza,” Jindal said.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

Check Also

Cortana Mall to Be Taken Off Life Support

Doctors at Our Lady of Lake Hospital sadly report a former major shopping venue will soon be taken off life support.