Jindal Spokesperson: Contracts for Super PAC Donors Prove God Rewards Those Who Believe in Jindal

In the wake of a report about some of Gov. Bobby Jindal’s most generous presidential campaign donors receiving huge state contracts and prominent board appointments, Jindal’s campaign has responded by insisting those donors were the beneficiaries of divine will.

Jindal campaign spokeswoman Shannon Dirmann called the report’s insinuation that Jindal granted multimillion-dollar contracts and powerful board appointments in return for donations — upward of a million dollars each — to his super PAC and other groups connected to Jindal “preposterous” and “without merit.”

“To suggest that these people paid for access, huge state contracts, and influential positions is nothing short of ridiculous,” Dirmann said. “Successful businesspeople in Louisiana believe in and support Gov. Jindal, and this just proves God rewards those who believe in and support Gov. Jindal.”

“If God wants to reward people who have faith in Gov. Jindal and give money to a super PAC or 527 group with close ties to Gov. Jindal, who are we as mere humans to say he can’t do so?”

Dirmann said the contracts and appointments were nothing more than the Almighty honoring people’s faith in Jindal and his presidential aspirations. She also insisted that questioning such divine recompense is a sign of mortal hubris.

“If God wants to reward people who have faith in Gov. Jindal and give money to a super PAC or 527 group with close ties to Gov. Jindal, who are we as mere humans to say he can’t do so?” Dirmann asked rhetorically.

Believe-Again-super-pacShe also cited the name of Jindal’s super PAC in further explaining the supernatural reasoning behind the otherwise apparently pay-to-play system revealed by the report.

“The super PAC supporting Gov. Jindal is called ‘Believe Again,'” she explained. “People believe and give money. If they don’t get anything in return, they sometimes believe again, give more, and are eventually rewarded by God for their unwavering faith in the next president of the United States, Gov. Bobby Jindal.”RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Tony Swartz

Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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