MARCH MADNESS: Foxes vs. Jocks(es) – Day 14

We set the second half of our final four with a pair of matchups featuring a Wicked Girl, a Playboy Playmate, a Boilermaker, and the Big Diesel. (For Day 13’s results, click here.)

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FOXES: Stormy Daniels (3) vs. Rhonda Shear (7)
In case you need reminding, No. 3 seed and porn legend Stormy Daniels got here by defeating 11th-seeded Faith Ford in the last round, and No. 7 seed Rhonda Shear rounded out the Elite 8 Foxes with a victory over second-seeded Reese Witherspoon. Both Daniels and Shear defeated blonde Hollywood sweethearts in the previous round. Both are perceived as ditzy blondes who used their bodies to achieve fame. Both are actually quite intelligent, shrewd businesswomen who are doing quite well without relying on exposing their still-fantastic “assets” to make the healthy incomes they’re currently pulling in. Which smart sexpot will advance to face Pauley Perrette in the Foxes finals on Thursday: the porn queen turned producer or the Playboy Playmate turned lingerie purveyor?

Shaq may dwarf Drew in physical stature, but Drew’s career pass completion rate (66.2%) dwarfs Shaq’s career free-throw shooting percentage (52.7%).

JOCKS(es): Drew Brees (11) vs. Shaquille O’Neal (2)
No. 11 seed Drew Brees made it to the Elite 8 after getting by No. 14 seed Jim Taylor, while second-seeded Shaquille O’Neal got here by flushing No. 7 seed Terry Bradshaw. Here’s an interesting fact about these two: They both went to high school in Texas. Another interesting fact: While Shaq may dwarf Drew in physical stature, Drew’s career pass completion rate (66.2%) dwarfs Shaq’s career free-throw shooting percentage (52.7%). Anyhoo, the winner moves on to face top-seeded Peyton Manning in the Jocks(es) finals.

Ready. Set. VOTE! (Polls close nightly at 10 p.m. CDT.)

 

FYI: If you’re trying to figure out our brotastic competition, here’s an explanation.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Editorial Staff

Editorial Staff
A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

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