Jindal to Solve Budget Crisis by Renting Out Chronically Empty Governor’s Mansion on Airbnb

Rather than letting the Governor’s Mansion just sit there while he’s gone half the time, Gov. Bobby Jindal plans to use the popular lodging website Airbnb to rent it out during his frequent out-of-state jaunts and use the additional income to fill Louisiana’s pending budget shortfall.

Jindal said the novelty of staying in the same house as “the greatest governor in the history of Louisiana,” combined with the abundant availability of a governor-free Governor’s Mansion and Jindal’s management acumen, makes the idea a very lucrative new revenue source that will fix Louisiana’s fiscal woes without violating Jindal’s no-tax pledge to Grover Norquist and his group Americans for Tax Reform.

However, if the governor is gone for 200 days in the next year and rents out the mansion every time, rentals would need to fetch an average of $8 million per night to make up for the estimated $1.6 billion hole in this year’s state budget. While this may seem excessive, especially considering Airbnb’s price range search feature tops out at $1,000 per night, Jindal remains confident renting the mansion is the perfect solution.

Some areas — such as the governor’s private adoration chapel dedicated to Grover Norquist — would be off-limits and labeled as “no-go zones.”

“Who wouldn’t want to pay good money to sleep in the house where the most brilliant man to ever hold elected office in Louisiana occasionally sleeps?” Jindal asked. “Maybe some of the brilliance it took to come up with the idea of renting out the mansion might rub off on them. At least that’s how we’ll sell it on the site.”

Louisiana-Governors-Mansion-StaircaseJindal said that while renters would have access to most of the house, some areas — such as the governor’s private adoration chapel dedicated to Norquist — would be off-limits and labeled as “no-go zones.”

Potential renters also will see a disclaimer explaining that if they get sick or injured and need to go the emergency room during their stay at the mansion, they would need to dial 911 and pray Baton Rouge traffic isn’t completely jacked up in the wake of the Baton Rouge General closing its Mid-City ER. Guests would be more than welcome to grab any one of the numerous rosaries lying around the place and start reciting Hail Marys, Jindal said.

Given the large percentage of area hotels that are owned and/or managed by people of Indian heritage, Jindal insists his ancestry virtually guarantees his plan will prove successful.

“People of Indian descent with names other than Patel are perfectly capable of succeeding in the hospitality industry, too.” he said.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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