MARCH MADNESS: Foxes vs. Jocks(es) – Day 2

Day 2 features an actress who’s taken it in the booty, a woman whose name sounds like “booty,” “The Mailman,” and the guy who broke Ty Cobb’s stolen bases record. (For Day 1’s results, click here.)

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FOXES: Lexi Belle (8) vs. Denise Boutte (9)
Like many successful porn stars, No. 8 seed Lexi Belle had a troubled childhood. After living with numerous foster families following her mother’s death, the Independence native moved to Hollywood, signed with a modeling agency, and quickly became a popular adult film star. She’s garnered many AVN and XBIZ nominations, was Penthouse Pet of the Year for 2014, and was named one of the 12 most popular stars in porn in 2011 by CNBC, because if there’s one thing those folks at CNBC know about, it’s porn.

The most apt title of her debut all-anal film would be Meet the Brown Eye.

Just like Belle, No. 9 seed and Maurice native Denise Boutte moved from LA to L.A. to pursue an acting career. However, she’s yet to appear on camera taking it in the ass from the likes of James Deen. Instead, the LSU grad and former advertising executive is known for her roles in Why Did I Get Married, Everybody Hates Chris, and Meet the Browns. By the way, if Boutte ever did want to capitalize on her ass-themed last name by starring in adult films like her opponent, the most apt title of her debut all-anal film would be Meet the Brown Eye.

JOCKS(es): Karl Malone (8) vs. Lou Brock (9)
No. 8 seed and Summerfield native Karl “The Mailman” Malone is considered one of the greatest power forwards in the history of the NBA. After helping Louisiana Tech make its first-ever appearance in the NCAA tournament, Malone played 19 years in the NBA — 18 with the Utah Jazz and his last season with the Los Angeles Lakers. Scoring the second-most career points in NBA history, Malone retired with the record for most free throws attempted and made. He also played in the playoffs every year of his career. However, he never won a championship ring, and he holds the record for most career postseason losses of any league player (95). He’s also produced several extremely athletically gifted children (WNBA star Cheryl Ford, LSU offensive lineman K.J. Malone), even if he hasn’t acknowledged all of them (offensive tackle Demetress Bell).

Good thing he almost failed out his first semester.

El Dorado, AR, native and No. 9 seed Lou Brock is a first-ballot Baseball Hall-of-Famer despite the fact he didn’t begin playing organized baseball until his junior year of high school. When threatened with the possibility of losing his academic scholarship after his first semester at Southern University, he decided to try for the Jaguars baseball team in hopes of securing an athletic scholarship. Less than 30 years later, the speedy left fielder was inducted into the hall with 938 stolen bases, 3,023 hits, a .293 lifetime batting average, and two World Series Championships with the St. Louis Cardinals. Good thing he almost failed out his first semester on the bluff.

Ready. Set. VOTE! (Polls close nightly at 10 p.m. CDT.)

 

FYI: If you’re trying to figure out our brotastic competition, here’s an explanation.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Editorial Staff

Editorial Staff
A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

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