The Power of Piyush Compels You: A Prayerapalooza Postmortem

From The Publisher

So “The Response” (aka the “nonpolitical” prayer rally that featured politicians like Gov. Bobby Jindal and was set up in part by Rolfe McCollister, aka the treasurer of Jindal’s superPAC) went down this past Saturday, and I’m really disappointed. Not one report mentions that Jindal tried to exorcise a gay demon out of a single protester.

And God knows there were plenty of them to cast out on LSU’s campus outside the Pete Maravich Assembly Center.

FYI Y'all are totes going to hell. LOL! JK
FYI: Y’all are totes going to hell. LOL! JK

Apparently, several hundred people possessed with gay demons didn’t care for the fact that the group that sponsored and funded Prayerapalooza has said some rather nasty things about the LGBT community.

American Family Association spokesperson Bryan Fischer is a Fred Phelps wannabe and makes the AFA basically Westboro Baptist Lite, because about the only difference is that the AFA has yet to show up at a military funeral with signs saying “God hates fags” and “God loves dead soldiers.”

We all know Hurricane Katrina was really God’s wrath against Louisiana for not electing Bobby Jindal over Kathleen Blanco in 2003.

You may have already heard about this Fischer guy. You know, the man who says gay sex is just like domestic terrorism? However, I think it bears repeating some of the more interesting claims made by the person representing the group that threw a rally that featured, and was promoted by, Gov. Jindal:

 

  • Gays created Hitler and are responsible for the Holocaust:
    “Homosexuality gave us Adolph Hitler, and homosexuals in the military gave us the Brown Shirts, the Nazi war machine and six million dead Jews.” – Bryan Fischer
  • It’s cool to kidnap kids from gay couples:
    “We need an Underground Railroad to deliver innocent children from same-sex households.” – Bryan Fischer
  • Kudos to Uganda for making homosexuality punishable by life in prison:
    “Winnable war: Uganda’s president signs a law that protects the natural family and restrains sodomy.” – Bryan Fischer

 

I just find it interesting that Jindal would speak at an event put on by a group that believes natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina are God’s punishment for America’s acceptance of homosexuals and gay marriage, all without a single denunciation. I mean, come on, we all know Hurricane Katrina was really God’s wrath against Louisiana for not electing Bobby Jindal over Kathleen Blanco in 2003. Had he been elected then, Katrina never would’ve happened.

(Side note: It always cracks me up to hear Christians blame disasters and disease encountered by “heathens” as God’s wrath, even though when the same shit happens to them, it’s a “test of faith.”)

I also find it interesting that the governor repeatedly insisted The Response was a “religious event … not a political event,” even though state Sen. Jonathan Perry asked God to send more born-again Christians to the Louisiana Legislature and Gov. Jindal closed out his appearance with a prayer asking God to give President Barack Obama “the strength to do his job.”

Right back at ya, Bobby. Right back at ya.

It’s like Jindal’s following Rick Perry’s playbook on how not to become president.

And I guess I shouldn’t try to read political tea leaves in the fact that a notoriously close political ally of Gov. Jindal — who’s expected to officially announce his presidential candidacy in the upcoming weeks — helped set up Saturday’s rally, nearly four years after Texas Gov. Rick Perry was featured at an AFA-sponsored tour stop of The Response and then days later announced he was running for president.

After all, Gov. Jindal said it wasn’t a political event. And secondly, Christians don’t believe in reading tea leaves.

Then again, maybe it’s inevitable that, despite every intention to keep politics and religion separate, featuring politicians at a “religious” event is like putting chocolate near peanut butter in front of someone named Reese.

In any case, I probably shouldn’t compare Jindal’s version of The Response with Rick Perry’s from 2011. Perry’s was attended by an estimated 35,000 people, while Jindal’s had about one-tenth the attendance. In fact, there were reportedly more people at the LSU gymnastics meet the night before.

Still, I can’t help but help draw comparisons between Perry and Jindal.

The former hoped to corner the far-right evangelical vote by headlining at a giant prayer rally just before he threw his hat in the ring for the White House. The latter headlined The Response just ahead of an expected announcement to do the same, for the same reason.

Perry’s the governor of a petroleum-rich, deep-red Southern state. So’s Jindal.

Bobby-Jindal-Greek-Theaer-abortion-rally
The belt buckle really isn’t that big. It just looks huge next to Jindal.

Rick Perry made a complete fool of himself almost immediately after hitting the national stage. After last week, same goes for Piyush.

At the rate he’s going, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Jindal once belonged to a hunting camp with a moniker I’d rather not repeat here.

It’s like Jindal’s following Rick Perry’s playbook on how not to become president. He even dressed like Perry by wearing jeans, shit-kickers, and an atrocious belt buckle to Prayerapalooza. He looked just slightly less ridiculous than Kip Holden at Bayou Country SuperFest.

As for why someone who graduated from Brown at the age of 20 and got a degree from Oxford as a Rhodes scholar would end up embarrassing his state to a degree comparable to Mr. “Oops” from Texas, I have an idea, but that’s for another article to come.

The Louisiana Conference of Catholic Bishops said the nonpolitical prayer rally was too political.

Back to this Saturday’s Prayerapalooza.

Reports say about 3,000 to 4,000 people in the PMAC sang songs and prayed, hands lifted toward the overhead scoreboard, for reconciliation between the old and young, between men and women, and among the races.

Reconciliation among the races? Far be it for me to tell God how to answer a prayer, but maybe He should start by telling Bryan Fischer not to go around saying that welfare makes black people “rut like rabbits.”

There was also an anti-abortion rally nearby on campus. Jindal briefly spoke to that group while the prayer rally in the PMAC was in progress. The governor better hope Fischer doesn’t find out he was hanging out with them at the Greek Theater.

Later, the South Louisiana Right to Life March merged with The Response, though the Catholic Church and its related organizations did not participate. According to The Associated Press, Louisiana Conference of Catholic Bishops Executive Director Rob Tasman said the nonpolitical prayer rally was too political. The bishops also felt The Response was too evangelical for them to be comfortable.

He still doesn't have a prayer of being president.
He still doesn’t have a prayer of being president.

Meanwhile, Jindal, who is Catholic, seemed right at home in the highly evangelical atmosphere with his Bible, flashy belt buckle, and testimony about how he converted from Hinduism as a teenager in Baton Rouge. The message was basically, “I love Jesus just like you, except I have a pope and I once participated in an exorcism while at Brown.”

Of course, Catholics and evangelicals don’t always sing from the same hymnal, both literally and figuratively. Matter of fact, there are a good number of evangelical Christians who consider Catholics like Jindal not to be “real Christians,” which means he’ll probably have to be even more Jesus-nutty than your typical extreme-right-wing-pandering politician to overcome his belief in transubstantiation.

I’m sure if teenage Bobby Jindal knew what 43-year-old Bobby Jindal knows now, he probably would have passed on Catholicism and gone a more evangelical route to the presiden … I mean, Jesus.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Jeremy White

Jeremy White
Jeremy White is an engineer by education, but a smartass by birth. He managed to overcome the obstacles presented by his technical background, and has brilliantly devised a way to make a living making fun of people.

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