1. Welcome to Baton Rouge, where we constantly remind Port Allen we’re better than them!

2. And home of the best golden showers around…

3. Maybe because our downtown has huge phallic structures.

4. Our Old State Capitol kinda looks like a chess piece. That’s pretty cool, huh?

5. And inside, the stained glass represents how much we love to mix religion with our politics.

6. But our politicians aren’t the only ones full of hot air.

7. Things can get pretty exciting when inmates escape from the Angola Prison Rodeo.

8. Only in Baton Rouge do boats speed past the manifest wrath of Cthulhu…

9. On their way to a pier that looks like it was designed by Georgia O’Keeffe.

10. Our nightlife will either make you wet…

11. Or stiff with excitement.

12. With some good binoculars, you could spot some quality Golden Girl camel toe.

13. If you like bridges…

14. Our traffic will ensure you’ll be on one from sunrise…

15. Until sunset.

16. And we’re still better than you, Port Allen.
