Taking Data Up the Ass

Feature

Pornhub continues to blend two things I enjoy – data and pornography – this time tackling our collective obsession with anal sex.

As usual, I find the data portion a bit frustrating. Why, Pornhub, must you refuse to put a value legend on your axis for your bar charts? Just because you’re talking about sex doesn’t mean we’ll be too distracted to notice such things, you know.

The American state most interested in anal sex is Kansas, and that sounds about right to me.

Still, beggars can’t be choosers, and I’m more than happy to settle for whatever insights Pornhub chooses to share.

CLICK FOR FULL-SIZE, BIG-ASS DATA
CLICK FOR FULL-SIZE, BIG-ASS DATA.

Biggest surprise in the data? Hawaii doesn’t search for anal porn. Either our island brethren are already getting enough ass they feel no need to search for more, or they just don’t care for that sort of thing.

Given that anal sex is something I’m fairly certain every guy is at least curious about, I suspect they’re just an awfully satisfied state out there in the middle of the Pacific. Perhaps someone should check under all those bikini bottoms, figure out what’s going on.

However, I digress. The American state most interested in anal sex is Kansas, and that sounds about right to me. I mean … It’s Kansas. The only place cornholing would sound more apropos is Iowa. Which, surprisingly, is second-to-last on the list. Weird.

I would’ve liked to play around with the international figures on anal sex a bit more, but Pornhub decided to nerf its visualizations and pull out the tools that had allowed you to really get in there with the data. C’est la vie, which is my way of saying, “I have no idea how France feels about ass play.”

My thanks, yet again, to Pornhub for letting us dig into the dirty side of data. I’d prefer the folks were more willing to give the raw data away so perverted data journalists like myself could play with ourselves, er, play with the data ourselves, but I understand that shit is proprietary. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to get all up in there, though.

The data. Get all up in the data. Sheesh.

Writing about porn is hard. And while it’s nothing to be ashamed of, I do feel like it’s something I need to do in private, and that I should probably go wash my hands afterward.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Jared Kendall

A freelance data journalist and father of two, Jared Kendall has been using comedy as a coping mechanism his entire life. Born a Yankee, Jared's twenty-year stint in Baton Rouge still leaves him with one question: "Why'd I move here, again?"

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