MARCH MADNESS: Crooked vs. Cooked – Day 14

Day 13 Results: Huey Long (1) eliminated Doug Green (5) with 73.7%. Étouffée (4) upset top-seeded Gumbo (1) with 53.9%.

Of today’s four competitors, one looks like a dick, one was a dick, one is known for using his dick, and one gets its head sucked all the time.

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CROOKED: Leander Perez (3) vs. Edwin Edwards (2)
Much like former Louisiana Governor Edwin Edwards, former Plaquemines Parish political boss Leander Perez was a powerful Democrat from South Louisiana and had a decadeslong political career infamous for rampant corruption and cronyism. After that, however, the similarities quickly fade away.

Fact is, the staunchly pro-segregation Perez likely would have despised Edwards for being an outspoken supporter of civil rights. In fact, old “Judge” probably would’ve swallowed his gavel had he still been around during the ’70s when the Silver Fox made waves by appointing a slew of blacks to high positions within his administration.

The staunchly pro-segregation Perez likely would have despised Edwards for being an outspoken supporter of civil rights.

Just a recap: Perez got here by most recently defeating former LSU President James Monroe Smith, while Edwards beat former Commissioner of Agriculture Gil Dozier in the second round.

COOKED: Boudin (11) vs. Boiled Crawfish (2)
Boudin, which beat crawfish bisque in the previous round, is the only double-digit seed to make the Elite Eight, and for good reason. It’s flavorful and phallic-shaped. That’s a tough combination to beat.

However, boudin faces a formidable opponent in the quintessential Louisiana delicacy boiled crawfish, especially now in the midst of crawfish season. Boiled crawfish’s most recent victory came against oysters Bienville.

We’ll soon find out how many voters have an envie for crawfish strong enough to overcome their desire to put a link of boudin in their mouths.

Ready. Set. VOTE! (Polls close nightly at 10 p.m. CDT.)

 

FYI: If you’re trying to make sense of this graft vs. grub competition, here’s an explanation.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Editorial Staff

Editorial Staff
A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

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