MARCH MADNESS: Crooked vs. Cooked – Day 11

Day 10 Results: Doug Green (5) defeated Richard Leche (4) with two out of every three votes cast. Étouffée (4) smothered bananas Foster (12) with 83.3%. 

Week 3 of this year’s tournament kicks off with matchups involving “Jimmy the Stooge,” the “Boss of the Delta,” crawfish bisque, and everybody’s favorite Cajun phallus not attached to Edwin Edwards.

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CROOKED: James Monroe Smith (6) vs. Leander Perez (3)
In case you need a refresher on former LSU president James Monroe Smith, why he’s in this tournament, and how he got to the second round, you can find it here. In short, the man LSU students called “Jimmy the Stooge” back in the ’30s was a F–king crook well before F. King Alexander was even born.

It’s arguably the first election Perez won in which he didn’t either buy votes or intimidate people into voting for him.

Sixth-seeded Smith’s opponent today is a man who is buried at Metairie Cemetery, purportedly face down so he could see hell coming. Third-seeded former Plaquemines and St. Bernard Parish political boss Leander Perez got out of the opening round by defeating Earl Long. It’s arguably the first election Perez won in which he didn’t either buy votes or intimidate people into voting for him.

COOKED: Boudin (11) vs. Crawfish Bisque (3)
While Perez was known for stuffing the ballot box, today’s cooked pairing involves a pair of uniquely South Louisiana dishes that involving stuffing, too. No. 11 boudin, which upset jambalaya in the first round, is stuffed into a casing, forming a rather impressive phallic shape. In other words, after being stuffed, it resembles something you stuff into something else.

Meanwhile, crawfish stuffing is tediously stuffed into cleaned crawfish heads in order to make third-seeded crawfish bisque. And that’s before you even get to actually fixing the bisque. The process is almost as hard as choosing between crawfish bisque and boudin.

Ready. Set. VOTE! (Polls close nightly at 10 p.m. CDT.)

 

FYI: If you’re trying to make sense of this graft vs. grub competition, here’s an explanation.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

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Editorial Staff
A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

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