SPHINCTER SPOTLIGHT: Colorado Department of Transportation – Mellow Harshers

Sphincter Spotlight

The Colorado Department of Transportation is seriously bringing a lot of folks down from their newly legal Rocky Mountain High, man.

They took down the “MILE 420″ sign along Interstate 70 and replaced it with a sign that reads “MILE 419.99.” That’s BOGUS, man!

EVERY mile marker on EVERY highway in the only state with legal weed for all adults should read “MILE 420″!

Colorado is getting so much love right now as the first state to legalize recreational marijuana use, it seems totally against all logic NOT to have a GREEN “MILE 420″ sign along a HIGHway there. Hell, even if the state wasn’t big enough for an interstate to sprawl 420 miles through it, they should put up several “MILE 420″ signs along the way anyhow. Screw it, EVERY mile marker on EVERY highway in the only state with legal weed for all adults should read “MILE 420″! Forget navigation. That’s what GPS systems are for.

Instead, CDOT officials said they took down the “420” sign because people kept stealing it, ostensibly because the number 420 has long been associated with marijuana. And now that pot is legal there, suddenly people are stealing the “420” sign, something that apparently NEVER happened before folks could spark up with impunity in the Centennial State. Right, CDOT dudes?

Surely, other large western states – where interstates traverse over 420 miles and where possessing weed is still a criminal offense – have zero issues with their “MILE 420″ signs occasionally going missing. No one in those states would even think of doing such a thing because: (a) they wouldn’t have an affinity for the “420” sign because they would never smoke weed because it’s illegal, and (b) they would never abscond anything because that, too, is illegal.

So yes, it would seem Colorado has a monopoly on people desiring to possess a “MILE 420″ sign because the state has a monopoly on free-range ganga.

Seriously, you guys at CDOT must REALLY be high. Really fucking high.

You put up a “419.99” sign in its place? You do realize that all that will do is trigger serious OCD attacks in some drivers, who will then be forced to light doobs to help calm their minds, and then they will be out somewhere in the middle of Bumfuck, eastern Colorado, high as giraffe pussy. Happy now?

You put up a “419.99” sign in its place? You do realize that all that will do is trigger serious OCD attacks.

We understand you did something similar in Larimer County after the “MILE 69″ sign repeatedly went missing. You put up a “MILE 68.5″ sign instead.

Well, that’s different. One, 68.5 is not a number that’s likely to make people with OCD get caught up in an obsessive numerical feedback loop. Secondly, 68.5ing is just 69ing with a midget, so the sign still has some entertainment value, unlike “419.99,” which just sounds like a sale price for a sweet HDTV.

So our suggestion for you CDOT folks is this: Put back the “MILE 420″ sign and put up a cardboard cutout of a cop next to it. The people who really want the “420” sign will be too damn paranoid from all the THC to steal it.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Editorial Staff

Editorial Staff
A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

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