HERO HIGHLIGHT: Lafourche Parish Councilman Lindel Toups – Library Truther

We salute a man who may have lost the battle to defund Lafourche Parish libraries, but who won the war in exposing the dirty truth about these tax-supported dens of depravity.

Lafourche Parish Council Chairman and flattop aficionado Lindel Toups vociferously supported a measure that would have diverted a portion of property tax dollars dedicated for libraries toward funding the construction of a new jail.

If Mexicans learn English, how can people like Toups bitch about them not speaking English?

And while voters in the parish ultimately shot down the measure by an 8% margin, Toups, in the months leading to Saturday’s election, managed to thoroughly debunk the myth that libraries are vital institutions of a civilized society by showing they’re nothing more than publicly funded cesspools, sucking down the drain both taxpayer money and traditional American values.

“They’re teaching Mexicans how to speak English,” Toups told the local Tri-Parish Times, referencing Biblioteca Hispana, a Spanish-language section of one of the nine branch libraries. “Let that son of a bitch go back to Mexico.”

Amen, Monsieur Toups. How dare those dirty Mexicans use our libraries to learn English. After all, if Mexicans learn English, how can people like Toups bitch about them not speaking English?

Besides, Mexicans don’t belong in our libraries. They belong on our roofs swinging hammers.

Moreover, like a lot of Lafourche Parish residents, Toups undoubtedly has loads of French-speaking relatives who never learned English with the help of a library, so why should those goddam Mexicans linguistically benefit from them? What, do they think they’re better than a bunch of coonasses? Mangez merde, Jose!

We concur with Toups that those Mexicans striving to learn English should go back to Mexico, or wherever it is Mexicans come from. In fact, any group of immigrants who arrive in South Louisiana and don’t speak the native language should go back to where they come from without exception. Without exception, cher.

Toups went on to also say, “There’s just so many things they’re doing that I don’t agree with. … Them junkies and hippies and food stamps [recipients] and all, they use the library to look at drugs and food stamps [on the Internet]. I see them do it.”

Finally, someone with the guts to speak honestly about what’s really going on at your local library. Rather than kids doing research for school and adults studying for their GEDs, the truth of the matter is drug addicts, dirty hippies, and financial parasites are ogling drugs and food stamps on the computers.

Toups is not some self-serving demagogue who only wants to improve prison conditions because half of his immediate family is normally housed there.

That’s really all the internet is good for anyway – looking at drugs. Why else do you think Toups’ son and grandson were arrested in 2009 and charged with possession of methamphetamine and drug paraphernalia? It was that damn, no-good internet’s fault.

Thankfully, Toups’ comments to the local newspaper were picked up by major news outlets from around the country, which not only means his message reached millions, but he also managed to put Louisiana in the spotlight for something positive for a change.

Yet, because of his brave efforts, some detractors called Toups all sorts of nasty names. Good thing he doesn’t care for libraries, so he doesn’t know what all those mean terms mean.

Fact is, Toups is not some self-serving demagogue who only wants to improve prison conditions because half of his immediate family is normally housed there. Toups said that if the library system ran into financial hardship down the road as a result of his proposal, its leadership could approach the council for extra appropriations, just so long as they weren’t used to serve Mexicans, junkies, hippies, and food stamp recipients.

He said, “If they run out of money, we’re going to bail them out.”

Yes, because if there’s one thing Toups knows how to do, it’s bailing people out. Just ask his son and grandson.

In the end, while the measure’s failure may seem like a personal and professional setback for Toups, perhaps it’s truly a blessing in disguise. Had it passed, a newly constructed modern jail most probably would’ve included an internet-capable library.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Editorial Staff

Editorial Staff
A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

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