An otherwise thoroughly enjoyable tailgate party outside Tiger Stadium this past Saturday was reportedly ruined by an inane football-related question posed by a female guest.
Robert Selig said he and his friends were enjoying the festivities at their usual tailgating spot near the LSU Law Center on the afternoon of the Tigers’ home opener against the University of Alabama at Birmingham. That was until Selig’s girlfriend opened her big, ignorant mouth.
“Everyone there just instantly lost their buzz and couldn’t get it back, no matter how much we drank the rest of the afternoon.”
“So we’re all sitting under the tent drinking, having a good time watching South Carolina lose to Georgia, when my dumbass girlfriend Ashley asked “” out loud so everyone could hear her “” the stupidest goddam question about football I’ve ever heard in my life,” Selig said.
“She said “¦ um “¦ wait, um “¦ See! She pissed me off so bad, I can’t even remember what the hell she said!” Selig recalled. “Granted, I had been drinking since 9 a.m., but still, everyone there just instantly lost their buzz and couldn’t get it back, no matter how much we drank the rest of the afternoon. We couldn’t even enjoy the beat down the Tigers put on the Blazers. And we snuck like three fifths of Jim Beam into the game!”
Selig said he was so embarrassed by the incident, he was worried about being blackballed by the rest of the group. “I like the tailgate crew I’m with. I don’t want to have to join a new one,” Selig said. “God forbid I have to party with the Krewe of Ragoo. They really do smell like corn dogs.”