Horrified Mother Learns Term “Sloppy Seconds” Unrelated to Food

A Baton Rouge woman is trying to cope with the shock of recently discovering that a seemingly innocuous term commonly used by her teenage son actually has a much more sordid meaning than she ever imagined.

Rhonda Williams said she heard her 16-year-old son Austin, a sophomore at Parkview Baptist, utter the phrase “sloppy seconds” numerous times over the past several months, and insisted she had no idea all along it’s slang for when a male engages in sex with a female right after another male has had unprotected sex with her.

“I’d hear Austin talk about his friends getting sloppy seconds and I just assumed he was talking about their lunches from home being all mushed up or something,” Williams said. “Either that or they were eating leftover sloppy joes.”

“I just assumed he was talking about their lunches from home being all mushed up or something.”

Williams said she stumbled across the true meaning of the colloquialism one evening when it was used on a TV show. When the context didn’t make sense, she looked it up online.

“I was utterly shaken when it dawned on me what he had been referring to,” Williams recalled. “I just couldn’t believe that my little Austin knew people who did that! And they’re his age and at a school like Parkview! My word!”

Since the revelation, Williams said, she’s spoken with her son and made him promise not to use the term again and never to engage in any sort of sexual activity until he’s married.

“Austin is really a good kid. In fact, he’s out with his friends right now getting ready for a race or something. He left here a while ago saying they were going “˜run train’ with a girl from school.”RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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