Millions Doomed to Starve as Zynga Lays Off Hundreds of “FarmVille” Workers

Advocacy groups fighting world hunger are predicting a cataclysmic virtual food shortage after the online game company Zynga announced it was shedding 18% of its workforce.

Groups such as World Vision and the World Food Programme paint an extremely grim picture, forecasting hundreds of millions of imaginary people suffering and dying from electronic famine in the wake of the tech giant’s decision to lay off hundreds of workers affiliated with its addictively popular game “FarmVille.”

“Virtual Third World countries across the globe will see human misery and starvation of untold proportion,” World Vision’s President Richard Stearns stated. “In fact, we could see one-third of eAfrica ultimately succumb to malnutrition.”

“We could see one-third of eAfrica ultimately succumb to malnutrition.”

Stearns says Zynga is too focused on real-world profits to care about the countless imaginary lives its decision will cost.

“Zynga said the cuts will save them $80 million a year,” Stearns said. “Is that how much half a billion virtual human lives are worth?”

Stearns also maintains that the rise in popularity of games such as “Candy Crush Saga” has altered the online ethos and diminished the perceived value of electronic crops that could feed so much of the planet’s pretend population.

“You can’t feed starving virtual children with candy. It has no implied nutritional value,” Stearns asserted. “And even if it did, the game is teaching people to destroy food rather than grow and harvest it.”

Zynga executives, meanwhile, maintain they do care about world online hunger and reportedly are working with internationally renowned musician and humanitarian Bono to develop a new online game aimed at helping to feed starving imaginary children around the world.

A spokesperson for Zynga said the new game “BandAidVille” should be available later this summer.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Tony Swartz

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