GUEST COLUMN: “I Run This Bitch Now!” – Deedy Slaughter, Port Allen Mayor

Off the WireDeedy-SlaughterAll my haters out there, listen up. I’ve got some news for you: I run this bitch now!

That’s right. Port Allen is MY hood! Beyonce might be the Queen B, but I’m the Queen D around here, and I’m gonna turn this mutha out like it ain’t jack shit!

Y’all think y’all can come up in here with some triflin’-ass ordinance trying to put labels on department heads. Well, I got something to go upside YOUR heads! And it ain’t no label!

I swear to God, I will pimp slap the shit out of a good government muthafucker!

If you think you can get four out of five council members to vote against me, you’re either crazy or on crack.

If you know what’s good for you, you best get that weak-ass shit out of here, cuz I will veto the ever-living fuck out of anybody who tries to pull this mess again!

There’s a reason it’s pronounced “VEE-to”: I run this town like an Italian gangsta!

And don’t even THINK about trying to override it! If you think you can get four out of five council members to vote against me, you’re either crazy or on crack.

YOU BETTA RECKA-NIZE!

All I need is two – count ’em, two – council members in my pocket, and I have plenty of room for them in my big-ass, expensive Louis Vuitton purse.

And all this talk about cutting my pay from $80,000 to $60,000? Y’all better squash that shit right now! I’m the goddam mayor of Port Allen! Not some backwoods shithole like Brusly or Addis. PORT ALLEN, YO!

All I can say is I better get paid, or is Deedy gonna have to choke a bitch?RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

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