HERO HIGHLIGHT: Farrah Abraham – Teen Mom Turned Porn Star

Former Teen Mom Farrah Abraham gained notoriety for what came out of her vagina, but is really cashing in on what went into it (and other bodily openings), and by doing so, she stands to inspire countless young girls with her innovative career path to riches and fame.

She’s a TAILblazer for all young mothers with hot bodies, average looks, and a willingness to get plowed on camera.

Yesterday, the 21-year-old former MTV reality show star signed a deal worth nearly $1 million with adult entertainment company Vivid Entertainment for her professionally produced sex tape. The 70-minute DVD Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom is set for release online May 6 and in stores May 14.

farrah-abraham-backdoor-teenmomWhen aspiring reality stars produce sex tapes to enhance their brand, they typically shoot them with costars who aren’t already professional porn actors. Plus, usually, a third party pushes the video so that the up-and-coming-and-coming-and-coming celebrity doesn’t have to get her hands dirty promoting the tape.

But Abraham’s broken the mold and has literally laid a new way to wealth for girls like her. She’s a TAILblazer for all young mothers with hot bodies, average looks, and a willingness to get plowed on camera.

For her groundbreaking sex tape, the former cheerleader from Council Bluffs, IA, hired one of today’s most famous male porn stars, James Deen, to be her “boyfriend.”

James-Deen
James Deen: All-American backdoor “boyfriend.”

This was a brilliant move by Abraham. Not only does Deen know how to properly bang a woman for the sake of the viewer, but the crossover star of Lindsay Lohan’s The Canyons also has an unusually strong female fan base, thus all but ensuring that at least a few ladies will buy Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom.

Moreover, instead of letting some surrogate handle the deal, Abraham showed that an emotionally immature (attention) whore from middle America can somehow handle high-stakes business negotiations.

Not only that, but she turned her meeting with Vivid founder and co-chairman Steve Hirsch into a family affair by bringing along her father and 4-year-old daughter Sophia Laurent. And why not bring her 4-year-old little girl? After all, if it weren’t for her, no one would give two shits about who Abraham was fucking, on camera or anywhere else, for that matter.

Abraham leads daughter Sofia through flexibility drills to help ensure she can follow in her mother's footsteps.
Abraham leads daughter Sofia through flexibility drills to help ensure she can follow in her mother’s footsteps.

“We went after this movie as vigorously as any sex tape we’ve ever pursued,” Hirsch said in a statement. “We felt it was definitely worth it, not only because of Farrah’s popularity, but because the footage itself is amazing. Farrah is gorgeous, sexy, and absolutely uninhibited.”

Hirsch added, “Farrah’s looks remind me of a young Kim Kardashian, and we all know how her story turned out.”

Yes, we all know how her story turned out, except Kim got famous because of her sex tape(s) and then got pregnant, while Farrah flipped the script and used getting knocked up as a means to fame before parlaying that fame with a sex tape. That’s innovation that would make even Henry Ford proud!

Abraham has boldly proclaimed that she’s ready to dive into the porn industry labia-first.

Abraham further proved her marketing prowess a few weeks ago by originally denying ever shooting the sex tape, and then hinting she shot one, but only for personal use.

“I don’t … exist … anything about that,” she articulated to TMZ before stating that if such a tape did exist, “that’s my own personal thing.” That is what people in the business call a “tease,” not to be confused with a “cock tease,” which Abraham certainly is not.

And when Deen began to ruin her thoroughly well-laid promotional plans by spilling the beans, telling Today that the whole thing was planned out from the beginning and that producers requested he pretend Abraham was his girlfriend, the real brains of the operation showed how to handle such a blabbermouth, namely by cutting him down to size.

“His penis is small,” Abraham said of her costar’s manhood. “I haven’t seen many, but his was definitely not big.” She added that Deen should “get out of the porn industry” because he has a tiny penis.

Wow! You have to admire Abraham’s brass – some might call it COCKiness – in essentially equating one of today’s most popular adult film actors to Bucky Larson.

Furthermore, by talking smack about a bona fide, professional porn star’s tool, Abraham has boldly proclaimed that she’s ready to dive into the porn industry labia-first.

What adult film director in his right and deviant mind wouldn’t kill for Abraham’s “bring it on” attitude? It’s fairly obvious to all that her gaping orifices are thoroughly prepared to take on all comers.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

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Editorial Staff
A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

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