MARCH MADNESS: News vs. Booze – Day 14

News-Booze-chawla-vann-bourbon-scotchAlright, folks. Hang on to your highball glasses, because things are going to get really crazy today. But first, let’s see what happened yesterday in the top half of the quarterfinals.

In the news category, WBRZ’s Chris Nakamoto managed to ensure there’d be a wang in the Final Four by hanging on til the very end and defeating No. 9 seed Lauren Westbrook with 55.6% of the 3,013 votes cast. The twelfth-seeded Nakamoto will face the winner of today’s news battle for a bid in the finals against the ultimate booze champion.

Meanwhile, No. 9 Canadian whiskey managed to derail fifth-seeded vodka 55.5% to 44.5%, thus ensuring an all-whiskey semifinal match. The Canuck blend moves on to the Final Four, where it will square off against today’s booze winner.

Today’s quarterfinal matchups feature a spirit born during colonial America, a drink older than the Highlander, and a pair of attractive women who produce enormous voter turnout.

NEWS: Kiran Chawla (6) vs. Whitney Vann (2)

CLICK FOR LARGER IMAGE
CLICK FOR LARGER IMAGE

We suspected it might come to this. Today’s news contestants are our top two vote-getters through the first two rounds, with over 4,300 votes combined so far.

Sixth-seeded Kiran Chawla got here by defeating WBRZ’s John Pastorek in a tough opening round battle and fellow WAFB reporter Greg Meriwether in the Sweet 16. Her opponent, No. 2 Whitney Vann, of WBRZ, reached this point by beating WAFB’s Tyana Williams and Matt Williams (in that order) in the first two rounds.

While we hope we don’t break our poll service’s servers, it ought to be fun watching you try!

BOOZE: Bourbon (6) vs. Scotch (7)

There’s an old myth that one can only truly acquire a taste for either bourbon or scotch, but not both. Of course, that’s complete horsesh-t, since many drinkers easily go back and forth between the two like Anne Heche switches back and forth between men and women.

Nevertheless, today’s contest will eliminate one of Don Draper’s favorite brown waters.

Sixth-seeded bourbon’s road to the Elite 8 included victories over Irish whiskey and champagne. No. 7 Scotch got here by beating out rum and wine.

It’s a shame that one of these fine contestants must leave the tournament, especially since they have so much in common. Not only are they both whiskeys created centuries ago by Gaelic people, but Scotland and Kentucky are both known for having clans. Of course, Kentucky spells theirs with a “K.”

But just like the Highlander always said, “There can be only one.” (Wonder which drink HE’D vote for?)

Ready. Set. VOTE! (Polls close nightly at 10 p.m. CDT.)

 

FYI: If you’re trying to make sense of this experimental info-alcohol competition, here’s an explanation. You can also find all March Madness results/other March Madness posts by using our handy “MARCH MADNESS: News vs. Booze” tag.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Editorial Staff

A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

Check Also

MARCH MADNESS: Foxes vs. Jocks(es) – PAULEY PERRETTE WINS!

Congratulations to our Foxes vs. Jocks(es) Champion Pauley Perrette! The New Orleans native and "NCIS" star defeated Drew Brees over the weekend.