MARCH MADNESS: News vs. Booze – Day 11

News-Booze-chawla-meriwether-bourbon-champagneGood Friday proved to be a REALLY good Friday for both of our lower-seeded contestants facing elimination.

Twelfth-seeded Chris Nakamoto managed a late surge Friday to fend off No. 4 seed and fellow WBRZ anchor Sylvia Weatherspoon. Nakamoto defeated Weatherspoon 71.2% to 28.8% and earned a spot in the Elite Eight, where he’ll face WAFB’s Lauren Westbrook.

Meanwhile, fifth seed vodka led practically wire-to-wire en route to a 68.2%–31.8% victory over No. 4 seed tequila. Vodka will square off against Canadian whiskey in the next round, while tequila was deported to Mexico. Given how many people it’s rendered unconscious, it seems only fair that tequila finally got knocked out.

We kick off our final week of the tournament with a couple of pairings featuring bubbly, a real American spirit, a multi-tongued woman, and a guy who probably has money on Louisville to win it all.

NEWS: Kiran Chawla (6) vs. Greg Meriwether (3)

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One thing about today’s news matchup is certain: Someone from WAFB is getting eliminated. That’s because we have newscasters from the same station facing off against each other for the third straight day.

The multilingual and sixth-seeded Kiran Chawla defeated WBRZ’s John Pastorek in an epic first-round battle that saw over 1,600 votes cast. We’re not quite sure how many of those were cast by Red Shtick contributor and Kiran Chawla obsessor Sunny Weathers, but we’re pretty sure he outvoted everybody else by at least a magnitude of 100.

Sunny’s, er, Kiran’s opponent is No. 3 seed Greg “Street Beat” Meriwether, who earned a berth in the Sweet 16 by disposing of WVLA’s Emily Turner in the opening round with 61.9% of the vote. If Sunny has any say-so, this could be a “Street Beatdown.”

BOOZE: Bourbon (6) vs. Champagne (3)

On the booze side, sixth-seeded bourbon got to this point by putting away Irish whiskey like a poser frat boy on St. Patrick’s Day, with the American brown water out-gaining the Celtic spirit 69.5% to 31.5%. We’re fairly certain that Sunny voted quite a number of times in that contest, as well.

Bourbon’s second-round opponent is No. 3 champagne, which defeated wine cooler by 64.9% to 35.1% in the first round. It’s been a while since the French won a war. We’ll see if champagne can break the country’s losing streak by prevailing.

Ready. Set. VOTE! (Polls close nightly at 10 p.m. CDT.)

 

FYI: If you’re trying to make sense of this experimental info-alcohol competition, here’s an explanation. You can also find all March Madness results/other March Madness posts by using our handy “MARCH MADNESS: News vs. Booze” tag.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

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A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

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