MARCH MADNESS: News vs. Booze – Day 7

News-Booze-mercedes-mattwilliams-scotch-rumUnlike the New Mexico men’s basketball team in the NCAA tournament, both of our No. 3 seeds handled their business against their lower-seeded opposition in first-round action.

WAFB reporter and Baton Rouge quasi-cult figure Greg Meriwether (aka “Street Beat”) defeated former LSU pitcher Emily Turner of WVLA 61.9% to 38.1%. Greg has earned the right to face fan favorite and coworker Kiran Chawla in Round 2.

Meanwhile, champagne downed wine cooler with a hefty 64.9% of the vote. The sparkling wine will face tough competition from its second-round foe bourbon.

Today’s action features an anchorwoman with an awesome stage name, a likable guy with some pretty good comedic chops, a real man’s drink, and Captain Jack Sparrow’s mouthwash.

NEWS: Cheryl Mercedes (7) vs. Matt Williams (10)

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No. 7 seed Cheryl Mercedes by far has the most expensive-sounding name in our entire tournament, with champagne coming in a distant second. The New Orleans native worked at KLFY-TV in Lafayette for three years before joining WAFB in 2006. In addition to reporting, Mercedes anchors the 5 p.m. newscast and comes with a 48-month/50,000-mile bumper-to-bumper warranty.

Her first-round opponent is WAFB coworker and 9News This Morning anchorman Matt Williams. Matt was born in Tulsa, OK, home of the University of Tulsa Golden Hurricane. He graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree in journalism from another notoriously windy place, the University of Wyoming. Maybe all that wind exposure throughout his life is why Matt’s hair always looks like it does.

BOOZE: Scotch (7) vs. Rum (10)

Our seventh seed is much like another Scottish invention – golf. Not everyone may develop a taste for Scotch whisky, but for those who do, it can be quite enjoyably addictive. And just like golfers look forward to a round or two on the weekend, scotch drinkers look forward to a round or two of a fine single malt as often as possible.

Because scotch is an acquired taste and no self-respecting drinker would mix the higher-priced single malts with anything to mitigate the flavor (unlike bourbon and Irish whiskey), Scotch whisky arguably has the lowest poser rate of any spirit. You’d be hard-pressed to find some hipster douchebag pretending to enjoy this libation for the sake of being ironic.

While all scotch is distilled in Scotland, its tenth-seeded opponent rum mostly comes from the Caribbean and Latin America. And since it’s distilled from sugarcane or cane byproducts, its sweet flavor makes it relatively easy to go down, even for a novice drinker/poser. Unlike scotch, which is often seen as a serious drink for serious drinkers, rum is often seen as a party drink for party people.

Rum’s rich and storied history is closely tied to the Royal Navy and piracy, as denoted by brands with maritime themes like Captain Morgan and Sailor Jerry. Sailors and pirates drank grog made from rum to help them forget they were dying of scurvy.

Ready. Set. VOTE! (Polls close nightly at 10 p.m. CDT.)

 

FYI: If you’re trying to make sense of this experimental info-alcohol competition, here’s an explanation. You can also find all March Madness results/other March Madness posts by using our handy “MARCH MADNESS: News vs. Booze” tag.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

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A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

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