Let Our “Star” Houses Be United!

Reel DirtFirst off, let me say one thing:

F–k J.J. Abrams.

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J.J. Abrams: The most powerful man in the known fictional universe.

I had a nice little article about the actors who have been nominated for Academy Awards, and our own little Houma girl, Quvenzhané Wallis, being the youngest person ever to be nominated for Best Actress. It was a really good article. And maybe I’ll put it out soon.

But no, J.J. Abrams has to be the big headline in the entertainment world. He’s got to get two of the biggest movie franchises in history in his pocket. Recent reports, initially from TheWrap.com but spreading to more sites and journalistic sources, relate that ol’ J.J. will be directing Star Wars: Episode VII.

J.J. Abrams is the new Marie Antoinette of our age.

Now, for those of you who don’t keep up with – well – the entire outside world, you may know that, besides being the man behind Lost, Alias, and the last couple of Mission: Impossible movies, he is the man behind the silver screen reboot of Star Trek.

So yeah, the man behind Star Trek has just become the man chosen by the House of Mouse (the new owner of Lucasfilm) to be the man behind Star Wars.

Can you imagine that?

It’s like the practices kingdoms used to have of marrying princes and princesses off to other kingdoms. J.J. Abrams is the new Marie Antoinette of our age. I mean, as in, like she was sent from Austria to marry into French royalty, not the whole “Let them eat cake” and “Hello, Mr. Guillotine” thing.

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Minds aren’t the only things melding, thanks to J.J. Abrams.

Yes, the families will be united. All the die-hard Star Wars fans and the Trekkies will be united in purpose and cause. They will see themselves as the flowers in a single garden. As the waves of one ocean. No more will there be arguments about which is better.

Yeah. Right. And if you believe that, I’ve got some swampland in Saskatchewan to sell you.

I personally think the internet battles will rage on, perhaps more intensely. Wars fans may see this as Trek putting its taint on the epic saga.

But Abrams is an admitted fan of Star Wars from waaaaay back. Star Wars is in good hands. Let’s hope the Trekkies don’t start feeling like their plot points and story ideas and “good stuff” are being spirited away by the Bad Robot (Abrams’ production company) people.

Trekkie: “That bounty hunter used the Picard Maneuver to capture the Millennium Falcon! That would have worked so much better in a Star Trek movie! Stupid Abrams! He’s poaching story ideas from the Trek universe! no telling what other ideas should have been in the last Star Trek flick!”

At one point, we were actually looking forward to Star Wars: Episode I. Yeesh.

I have a cynical view of people’s expectations. Folks are going to have worst-case scenarios all over the internet. But then the Star Wars movies are going to come out and they’ll be awesome, and people will shut up. And then the third Trek movie will come out, and it will be excellent, as well. There’s room in the universe for both.

And J.J. Abrams has plenty of good storytelling to give to the world. I have high hopes. I also know that many others feel positive as well.

Of course, if you trek on over to the internet’s message boards, there will be plenty of wars to follow there. Just like every time there’s a major announcement about some big studio movie. They trashed the idea of Christian Bale as Batman and, later, of Heath Ledger as the Joker. People have been wrong before.

After all, at one point, we were actually looking forward to Star Wars: Episode I. Yeesh.

And yes, I’m insanely jealous of J.J. Abrams right now.

Lucky bastard.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

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James Brown
James Brown is not related, affiliated, or representative to or of the estate of the Godfather of Soul. Any similarity is purely coincidental.

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