Guest Column: “That Hannah Storm Is Giving Propane a Bad Name!” – Hank Hill, Propane Salesman

Off the WireHankHillThe sportscaster lady who set herself on fire with a propane grill should apologize to me and everyone associated with the highly esteemed propane industry! That Hannah Storm is giving propane a bad name!

I can’t believe she was on TV on New Year’s Day doing the Rose Bowl Parade talking about how she burned off her hair and eyebrows and got burns on her chest, neck, and hands after she blew up a perfectly good propane grill.

Look, I’m glad she’s OK and still pretty and all, but how in the world does a lady smart enough to cover professional football not know how to responsibly use a propane grill? That’s just asinine!

Hannah Storm Roase ParadeMrs. Storm said she lit her grill, went inside, and noticed the flame was out when she came back outside. Then she said said she turned off the propane, turned it right back on, and lit the grill like a damn moron! Even my idiot friends Dale and Bill know better than to do something so got-dang stupid!

She said she didn’t realize propane is heavier than air and needs time to dissipate. Who the hell doesn’t know propane is 1.5 times heavier than air and pools near the ground?!? That molecular weight of 44 isn’t just for show, you know!

And now, thanks to Hannah Storm’s blatant stupidity and celebrity status, the only thing more scarred than her chest and neck area is the formerly pristine reputation of sweet lady propane.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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