Bowl Selection Committee to LSU: “Eat Mor Chikin”

The Cotton Bowl has snubbed the LSU football team for its game on January 4, inviting Texas A&M and Oklahoma, even though LSU beat A&M on October 20 and outranks both the Aggies and the Sooners in all of the college football rankings.

Instead, the Tigers will be headed to the Chick-fil-A Bowl in Atlanta, GA.

One official in the LSU Athletic Department, who asked not to be identified for fear of reprisals in future bowl considerations, commented, “We never really wanted to go to the Cotton Bowl in the first place. I mean, are you kidding me, cotton?

“Cotton, as a fabric, is so “˜yesterday.’ It’s not breathable, takes forever to dry, and is, in general, not cool. We would have much preferred to get an invitation from the Under Armour Breathable Polyester Bowl.

“But I must admit my shock when I heard that the Cotton had passed over us. My first reaction was, “˜Wait a cotton-pickin’ minute!'”

Les Miles: “We very much look forward to playing our bowl game in Atlantis.”

The official position on LSU’s bowl situation, however, was voiced by coach Les Miles when he said Sunday, “We very much look forward to playing our bowl game in Atlantis.”

One bowl observer commented that it could have been worse: “There are so many undesirable bowls that have sprung up over the last several years that you want to steer clear of, like the Chiquita Banana Fruit Bowl, the KFC Chicken and Biscuit Bowl, the Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup Bowl, the Charmin Bathroom Tissue Restroom Facilities Bowl, and the Grass City Headshop Pot Bowl, to name a few. So eat your Chick-fil-A and be happy.”

About Antonio Winnebago

Antonio Winnebago
"When you remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." - Mark Twain

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