Crimson Crybaby: AJ McCarron sobs during this year's LSU game.

Dehydration Brought on by Excessive Crying Sends Alabama Fans to Hospital

Medical officials in Tuscaloosa report that dozens of Alabama football fans suffering from dehydration brought on by excessive crying were sent to area hospitals after the Texas A&M-Alabama game.

A whimpering Alabama frat boy is consoled after Alabama’s loss to LSU in 2011.

“Crying is all part of the natural grieving process for an Alabama fan after a loss such as this, but when an IV is needed afterwards, it’s time to seek help,” noted one psychologist in Birmingham who did not wish to be identified.

“I would suggest baby steps, such as not painting your body for the next spring game. Then the following year, don’t attend the spring game at all,” the psychologist advised.

“Crying is all part of the natural grieving process for an Alabama fan after a loss such as this, but when an IV is needed afterwards, it’s time to seek help.”

“We all recognize that several dozen cases of crying-induced dehydration is a serious matter, but 90,000 people at a spring game? That’s an epidemic. It’s time to get a life.”

Crimson Crybaby: AJ McCarron sobs during this year’s LSU game.

This is not the first time this season that the Crimson Tide has attracted nationwide attention as the result of a crying episode. During the Tide’s last-minute win over LSU, Alabama’s quarterback, AJ McCarron, could be seen whimpering on the sidelines.

Nick Saban was upbeat after Bama’s loss to A&M, even as he wiped a tear from his face.

“There’s still a lot for this team to play for. We can still cry ourselves all the way to the national championship,” Saban bellowed as he blew his nose into a crimson handkerchief.

“I love these guys!”

About Antonio Winnebago

Antonio Winnebago
"When you remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." - Mark Twain

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