Pee-wee Herman ties for second but gets the last laugh.

Ron Paul Wins Fox News Paul Ryan Poll

The Romney-Ryan ticket was thrown into a last-minute election quandary when the results of a recent poll showed that the majority of voters didn’t know the difference between Paul Ryan and many other famous people with the first or last name of “Paul.”

Ron Paul wins Paul Ryan poll.

The survey, conducted by Fox News, showed voters photos of 10 famous Pauls, including Paul Ryan, and asked them if they could pick out which Paul was the Republican vice presidential candidate. Nine out of 10 failed to correctly identify Paul Ryan.

“Fifty-five percent picked out Ron Paul, 12% picked out Rand Paul, 10% picked out Paul Ryan, and the rest of the 23% were split evenly between the late Les Paul, inventor of the solid-body electric guitar; Paul Revere, deceased American patriot; and Paul Reubens (aka “Pee-wee Herman”),” a spokesperson for Fox News said.

Pee-wee Herman ties for second but gets the last laugh.

“It was disquieting to us that Ron Paul came out first in the poll since he hasn’t even endorsed the Republican ticket, but it was not surprising since Ron Paul’s and Paul Ryan’s names both sound alike and any of these names could be used as first or last names.”

The poll made many political pundits fear that the country could be thrown into a constitutional crisis, since many voters may vote for Romney-Ryan thinking that they were really voting for Romney-Paul. “I even have trouble keeping these bozos straight,” one pundit admitted.

Paul Ryan, aka Ron Paul,
faced with identity crisis.

The poll indicated many of the voters polled seemed to be guessing, except for one who pointed to Paul McCartney and said “Well, all I know, it’s not him.”

Paul Revere and Les Paul were not available for comment. Paul Reubens’ only comment was “Ha, Ha!”

Republican strategists put into motion a last-minute TV blitz to give the correct Paul, Paul Ryan, increased name and face recognition, with a theme of “PAUL RYAN: HE’S THE WEASELLY-LOOKING ONE.”

About Antonio Winnebago

Antonio Winnebago
"When you remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." - Mark Twain

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