The Red Shtick College Football Rankings: Week X

As the Crimson Tide prepare for their biennial trip to Baton Rouge, gamblers prepare to lay down beaucoup d’argent on Bama -∞. This Tiger fan isn’t getting his hopes up, and he hopes that you aren’t, either.

It’s times like these when I remember that every LSU player is younger than any woman whose snatch I should be chasing, so all old farts, thirty-somethings, and late-twenty-somethings are best served without an emotional connection to this game and with the hopes that some LSU players realize that a good ass-whippin’ is a rite of passage into character development and humility.

This writer apologizes for the team currently in the No. 1 spot, but don’t blame him, hibernophobes. Nay, blame the Pacific-12 officials who handed the Fighting Irish a win over the Cardinal a few weeks ago.

This week’s Red Shtick College Football Rankings are listed below. All signs point to Alabama playing either Notre Dame, Kansas State, or Oregon in the BCS Championship Game. Notre Dame holds the No. 1 ranking by a slim margin, but it plays a struggling Pitt team Saturday and easily could be passed by Kansas State (vs. Oklahoma State) and/or Alabama (at LSU) even with a win. What is certain is that if Alabama wins out, it will be a clear No. 1.

This writer apologizes for the team currently in the No. 1 spot, but don’t blame him, hibernophobes. Nay, blame the Pacific-12 officials who handed the Fighting Irish a win over the Cardinal a few weeks ago.

Note: The Red Shtick College Football Ratings are now known as The Red Shtick College Football Rankings. A rating, as it pertains to our computer rating/ranking system, is the solution of an algorithm. A ranking is the relationship between a team and all other teams. We here at Balls have received tens of thousands of letters suggesting that we make this literal change, and we now relent.  

The Red Shtick College Football Rankings: Week X

For the first time in what seems to be decades – because it’s actually been decades – the Fighting Irish are a legitimate contender.

Conference Rankings Southeastern Big 12 Big Ten Pacific-12 Atlantic Coast Big East Mid-American Sun Belt Western Athletic Mountain West USA

If my system alone were used to determine the BCS bowl lineups – which would be better than finding out that it’s not your baby – here’s how the bowls would line up with today’s standings: BCS Championship Game:  Notre Dame vs. Kansas State Rose Bowl: Oregon vs. Nebraska Fiesta Bowl: Florida vs. Clemson Sugar Bowl: Alabama vs. Oregon State Orange Bowl: Florida State vs. Louisville

Of course, it won’t shake out that way. Here’s how Balls figures the BCS will turn out: BCS Championship Game:  Alabama vs. Notre Dame Rose Bowl: Oregon vs. Nebraska Fiesta Bowl: Kansas State vs. Stanford Sugar Bowl: Florida vs. Oklahoma Orange Bowl: Florida State vs. Louisville

1. Notre Dame
2. Kansas State
3. Alabama
4. Oregon
5. Ohio State (ineligible)
6. Florida
7. Georgia
8. Louisville
9. Louisiana State
10. Oregon State
11. Florida State
12. Clemson
13. Boise State
14. Mississippi State
15. South Carolina
16. Nebraska
17. Texas Tech
18. Rutgers
19. Texas A&M
20. Tulsa
21. Kent State
22. Oklahoma
23. Northwestern
24. Northern Illinois
25. West Virginia
26. Texas
27. Louisiana Tech
28. UCLA
29. San José State
30. Arizona
31. Oklahoma State
32. Iowa State
33. Fresno State
34. Stanford
35. Southern California
36. Ohio
37. Western Kentucky
38. Michigan
39. Toledo
40. Penn State
41. Cincinnati
42. Utah State
43. Louisiana-Monroe
44. Navy
45. Michigan State
46. Wisconsin
47. Central Florida
48. Ball State
49. North Carolina
50. Washington
51. Duke
52. Mississippi
53. North Carolina State
54. Brigham Young
55. San Diego State
56. Arkansas State
57. Arizona State
58. Texas Christian
59. Miami (Florida)
60. Bowling Green
61. Missouri
62. Minnesota
63. Iowa
64. Air Force
65. Nevada
66. Vanderbilt
67. Indiana
68. Virginia Tech
69. Central Michigan
70. New Mexico
71. Miami (Ohio)
72. East Carolina
73. Wake Forest
74. Houston
75. Tennessee
76. Louisiana-Lafayette
77. Baylor
78. Troy
79. South Florida
80. Purdue
81. Utah
82. Maryland
83. Southern Methodist
84. Arkansas
85. Texas State
86. Temple
87. Connecticut
88. North Texas
89. Syracuse
90. Texas-San Antonio
91. Middle Tennessee State
92. California
93. Marshall
94. Rice
95. Georgia Tech
96. Kentucky
97. Western Michigan
98. Tulane
99. Auburn
100. Texas-El Paso
101. Florida Atlantic
102. Illinois
103. Boston College
104. Virginia
105. South Alabama
106. Washington State
107. Florida International
108. Pittsburgh
109. Kansas
110. Buffalo
111. Southern Mississippi
112. Alabama-Birmingham
113. Akron
114. Colorado State
115. Hawaii
116. Massachusetts
117. New Mexico State
118. Nevada-Las Vegas
119. Wyoming
120. Colorado
121. Eastern Michigan
122. Army
123. Memphis
124. Idaho