Baker Woman Claims She’s Been “Kipnotized,” Files for Disability

A lifelong Baker resident claims she was permanently disabled after watching a YouTube video released by mayor-president candidate Mike Walker’s campaign.

Glenda Lacey says she can no longer work after being “Kipnotized” by the online attack ad, in which the mayor pro tem claims Mayor Kip Holden is trying to delude parish residents into believing crime isn’t a serious problem.

The video says Holden is attempting to “Kipnotize” citizens.

“I saw that video on the YouTubes,” Lacey said. “And when the swirly thing came on and the watch went back and forth, I got really sleepy, like when I get the itis after eating a bunch of ribs.”

The 48-year-old grandmother said she can no longer perform her duties as a high school cafeteria worker after viewing the ad and has since filed for full disability with the state.

“I can’t do nothing anymore, baby,” Lacey explained. “I been Kipnotized. All I wanna do now is drink Budweiser and hang out with white women.”

About Tony Swartz

Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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