Guest Column: “It’s Piccadilly’s Annual Chapter 11 Filing Extravaganza!” – Thomas J. Sandeman, Piccadilly CEO

Hey, elderly people! It’s that time of year! Piccadilly is once again on the brink of insolvency, so we’ve filed for bankruptcy. And we’re passing the savings on to you!

Right now, you’ll find great deals on our world-famous carrot souffle and prime rib! Your taste buds and your fixed-income budget will thank you!

Grab your walker and get the keys to your Lincoln Towncar that your family has hidden from you!

Plus, we have lots of affordable, scrumptious vegetables that aren’t corn. You’re welcome.

And don’t forget dessert! Our delectable chocolate pecan cream pie is to die for! But don’t croak yet. We need your unrelentingly loyal business to help pay off our vulture fund lender.

But hurry, we can’t reorganize our assets forever! So grab your walker and get the keys to your Lincoln Towncar that your family has hidden from you because they don’t want you driving anymore, and head on down to the nearest Piccadilly … before you forget where it is or what you’re doing with car keys!

About Off the Wire Guest Columnist

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