LSU Football MMXII Preview

It’s that time, folks. We here at The Red Shtick do this every year starting this year. Balls now brings you its official LSU football preview for the MMXII season.

OK, I’m not going to bullsh-t you. You don’t need in-depth analysis from me. I’m going to make this quick so we can get to the fun stuff.

The defense is going to be great. The offense is going to be better. Special teams will be good enough not to screw the season up. LSU has a better team than last year and an easier schedule than last year. National title or bust.

Now to have some fun.

Top XIV nicknames for an LSU fan’s genitalia:

  1. The Intimidator
  2. The State Capitol
  3. Pistol Pete
  4. Mike 6½”
  5. Bob. Pet it.
  6. Guerrilla Balls
  7. The Campanile
  8. Governor Fuqua
  9. Richard Dickson
  10. The Eye of the Tiger
  11. Huey Pee Long
  12. Mike 7½”
  13. Coates Hall Bathroom Destroyer
  14. Ruffin Pleasant

Too obvious to include: Honey Badger, Big Baby

Acceptable if not creative: Barkevious Mingo

For the ladies: The Enchanted Forest, The 10/12 Split, The Box, The Old Box

Balls’ Projection: 14-0, SEC Champions, BCS Champions.

About Adam Wilson

Adam Wilson
Adam Wilson was the original columnist for Balls, Pucks, and Cups. He returned after a five-year contract dispute with The Red Shtick management.

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