Guest Column: “Dang It! That Truck on I-10 Didn’t Spill Propane!” – Hank Hill, Propane Salesman

I can’t believe how many so-called news outlets reported that the truck involved in the accident that messed up Baton Rouge traffic something awful was carrying propane. For crying out loud, it spilled ISOBUTANE! Not propane!

If these goddang media types paid attention, they’d know the difference. Anyone with a brain in his head knows butane and isobutane are bastard gases! Hell, I taught my boy Bobby that when he was still in diapers.

And even the giblet heads that got it right said isobutane is similar to propane. That’s as idiotic as saying Somalia is just like America because they’re both countries!

That is absolutely asinine! The formula for isobutane is C4H10. Propane is C3H8. They’re nothing alike at all, for Pete’s sake!

And besides, sweet lady propane would never do something as terrible as shutting down a whole city’s traffic flow. She’s too busy providing clean-burning energy to millions of Americans.

Boy, I tell you what, if I hear one more story about Baton Rouge traffic that even mentions propane, I’m gonna come down there and kick somebody’s ass!

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