Louisiana Wins Yet Another Gold in Bitching

If the Games of the XXX Olympiad taught us one thing, it’s that American sports fans will go to great lengths and stop at nothing in their collective quest in search of something about which to bitch. If you’re like me, your Twitter feed was half-filled with people bitching about NBC’s tape-delayed coverage (why do we still call it “tape-delayed” when we no longer use tape?) and half-filled with people bitching at Bill Simmons for tweeting “spoiler alerts” in the form of live updates from London.

What amazes me about this collective bellyache is that if you watched more than four minutes of NBC’s Olympics coverage, you saw at least once a promo featuring NBC’s live coverage via the web and mobile app. Countless friends of yours actually ignored NBC’s invitation to open their laptops and enjoy free, comprehensive, live Olympics coverage and opted instead to view delayed television coverage and to complain about it on one or more of their six social network accounts.

[pullquote]Les is still on the sideline, we have a new quarterback, Vilma probably will lose, and it’s an election year. You’ll have plenty of material for a while.[/pullquote]

And can you blame them?  After all, it’s been more than seven months since Jordan Jefferson lined up under center, five months since Johnny Jones was hired, 92 months since Nick Saban skipped town, 215 months since Jamie Howard’s five interceptions, and 1,768 months since Appomattox. Thank God there’s Bountygatextravaganzapocalypsefest2k, or else Louisiana sports fans would be so desperate for stuff to bitch about that they would watch eight hours of ESPN per day and bitch about their Tim Tebow birthday coverage. (How crazy would it be if people actually did that?)

Don’t worry, Louisiana. Les is still on the sideline, we have a new quarterback, Vilma probably will lose, and it’s an election year. You’ll have plenty of material for a while, and we here at Balls will be by your side making sure you have plenty about which to complain.

About Adam Wilson

Adam Wilson
Adam Wilson was the original columnist for Balls, Pucks, and Cups. He returned after a five-year contract dispute with The Red Shtick management.

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