Officials with the Louisiana Department of Environmental Quality said Wednesday the acre-sized sinkhole near Bayou Corne is simply the inevitable result of the state "sucking so hard."

CORRECTION: Assumption Parish sinkhole is God preparing state to “squeal like a pig.”

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Editorial Staff
A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

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CORRECTION: Sen. Norby Chabert, Rep. Stuart Bishop did not fist each other.

The Red Shtick regrets the error.