Not Even Deer Hunting?

So when NCAA President Mark Emmert wrote a letter to Penn State President Rod Erickson nearly two weeks ago, advising him to prepare for the possibility of a four-year “death penalty” for PSU’s football program, Erickson said, “Slow down,” and explained that such an imposition would be economically catastrophic for the city “” that is, the home rule municipality “” of State College.

Home rule municipality? What the hell is that? It’s like I always say: If you need more than seven syllables to describe what you are, you’re basically trying to hide the fact that you’re not bringing a whole lot to the table.

If you need more than seven syllables to describe what you are, you’re basically trying to hide the fact that you’re not bringing a whole lot to the table.

And that’s just it. That’s ultimately why Penn State dodged the ultimate NCAA bullet, their only stroke of good luck since, according to official NCAA records, the Lions’ win over Wisconsin in November 1997.

Why? Because State College, PA, is such a crappy town that if the Penn State Nittany Lions football team were not to have the usual six or seven home games per year, there would be literally nothing to do in the town.

I’ll put it another way so you can digest it better: The only reason why Penn State is being allowed to play football next year is because their town sucks so incredibly bad.

Clearly, the true victims of the Sandusky scandal are people who have lived in State College, PA, ever.

 

About Adam Wilson

Adam Wilson
Adam Wilson was the original columnist for Balls, Pucks, and Cups. He returned after a five-year contract dispute with The Red Shtick management.

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