Tentpoles and Other Random Analogies

Greetings and salutations, fellow earthlings. My name is Brown. James Brown. No relation.

Welcome to a new era in Red Shtickiness. And, therefore, in Reel Dirtiness. I’m stoked. I’m ready. I’m hyped. I’m amped. Can you tell I’m excited?

Anyway, I’m not really one for celebrity gossip, but it’s hard to ignore news as monumental as one of the most bankable stars in the business getting divorced. Tom Cruise is turning 50 the first week of July, and he and Katie Holmes are celebrating by dissolving their marriage.

It’s not that Hollywood folks have ever been role models in the matrimonial department, at least not in my lifetime, but you always hope that somebody whose name is on the big marquees will be some kind of example of happiness. I think I just lost a little faith in the world.
[pullquote]Now that we are live and on the interwebs, you can let me know what you think are the best summer movies. [/pullquote]
There’s already plenty of speculation about what the cause of all this is. They’ve gotten tired of pretending they were in love. Tom is actually batting for the other team. The aliens in Tom’s religion told him to divest himself of all earthly relationships.

It’ll probably come out in Katie Holmes’ tell-all book due out in about a year. No, they haven’t announced it, but don’t be surprised.

Enough about all that”¦

There are multiple ways of defining “summer movie.” Typically, this is a movie that comes out in the summer. One could also say that it is a movie that is set during the summertime.

The best is the combination, or at least one that comes out in the summer but doesn’t have a particular time setting. If it happens in the deepest, darkest reaches of space, then it doesn’t really matter what season it is back on Earth. As long as we have plenty of explosions and a little extraterrestrial nudity, it always will be summer in our hearts.

Now that we are live and on the interwebs, you can let me know what you think are the best summer movies. The ones that really define the summer movie-watching experience “” those are the ones I’m talking about. Did you and a bunch of your friends line up to see The Avengers at midnight on opening weekend? Do you remember how excited you were to see Jaws in the theater? Let us know what you think.

Alright, I’ve got to grab some jalapenos for my nachos before I dive into about 70 metric tons of processed cheese. God, I love the smell of movies in the summertime.

Happy movie watching.

About James Brown

James Brown
James Brown is not related, affiliated, or representative to or of the estate of the Godfather of Soul. Any similarity is purely coincidental.

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