Guest Column: “The Truth Behind the So-Called ‘War on Women'” – Kim Trails, Conspiracy Theorist

I love how people are talking about this whole war on women, like it really exists. Well, don’t believe what the Zionist-controlled media tells you!

Despite what you may have heard, Republicans are not really making a concerted effort to take away women’s rights, even though it may look like it on the surface. But there’s a deeper, more disturbing, underlying truth that the establishment doesn’t want you to discover!

First, let’s take a look at all the purported “evidence” that the GOP is trying to set women back 50 years.

For starters, there are all those transvaginal ultrasound bills in various states that would make a woman get a 10-inch probe stuck in her hoo-ha before getting an abortion. Of course, they were all introduced by Republicans, or so we’re told.

Then in Tennessee, Republican Representative Matthew Hill allegedly sponsored House Bill 3808, known as the Life Defense Act. It would require the state health department to post on the internet the names of doctors who perform abortions, as well as information on their patients that could be used to identify them.

[pullquote]The Democrats are using mind control on the Republicans to make them look bad in an election year![/pullquote]

And right next door in the Peach State, Georgia Republican Representative Terry England argued in favor of a bill mandating that mothers of fetuses that are stillborn after the 20-week mark be required to carry the dead fetuses to term on the grounds that the fetuses can still feel pain. (I heard someone on Art Bell’s Coast to Coast say the same thing the other night.) England also said women should have to carry the stillborn fetuses to term since livestock do it all the time.

Then in Wisconsin, one Republican tried to legally define single parenthood as child abuse, while another said abused wives should stick it out and remember the good times instead of getting a divorce.

And then there’s Arizona, where not only did a Republican legislator sponsor a bill that would require women seeking an abortion to first watch an abortion, but the GOP-controlled Senate actually passed a bill called the “wrongful birth” bill, which would essentially allow doctors to lie to women about birth defects in the name of preventing abortions.

Now all of these “anecdotes” reportedly happened within just a couple weeks’ time span. And there’s just no way all these lawmakers in all these faraway places would sponsor similarly idiotic bills and say similarly idiotic things concerning women’s issues “” all practically at the same time “” unless someone was unconsciously compelling them to do so.

That’s right, folks. Brace yourself: Republicans aren’t really waging a war on women. The Democrats are using mind control on the Republicans to make them look bad in an election year!

They’re making members of the GOP do and say things that make it seem as though the party is attacking women’s rights. It’s the same technology they used to make John McCain pick Sarah Palin as his running mate.

So in parting, I say to my GOP friends: Protect yourself from the invisible womanizing rays emanating from the Democratic National Committee’s numerous secret broadcasting towers. Gird yourself with your trusty tinfoil hats. Otherwise, you mind end up like Idaho Republican legislator Chuck Winder and suggest that women don’t really know what rape is.

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