Product Spotlight: Guido Merkens’ Merkins

A beloved former New Orleans Saint is taking advantage of his name to capitalize on the recent trendiness of merkins “” the pubic wigs traditionally worn by movie actresses and burlesque performers.

FleurDeMerkinGuido Merkens has announced he’s launching his own line of merkins called Guido Merkens’ Merkins.

Merkens said he got the idea to get into the merkin business after watching an episode of The Real Housewives of New York City. Cindy Barshop, a cast member of the show, owns a salon that specializes in the accessories.

“I had never heard of a merkin before,” Merkens said. “But once I found out about them, I knew I’d be an idiot if I didn’t jump in the game with my name.”

[pullquote]Merkens said he expects them to become a popular trend in the Gulf Coast’s many gentlemen’s clubs.[/pullquote]

Merkins were originally used by prostitutes hundreds of years ago to hide symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases, but have more recently been donned by strippers and actresses to avoid being fully nude while working and to comply with moral and health code regulations. Today, along with temporary tattoos and “vajazzling,” merkins are just another way for women (and some men) to decorate their pubic region.

Merkens said his line will feature merkins with a regional theme, including fleur-de-lis-shaped pieces. He said some will be black and gold, while others will come in Mardi Gras colors. Merkens said he expects them to become a popular trend in the Gulf Coast’s many gentlemen’s clubs.

The 56-year-old was considered a jack-of-all-trades, serving as third-string quarterback, place-kick holder, special teams player, wide receiver, and safety for the Saints.

Merkens said that when he played in the NFL in the ’70s and ’80s, there was no market for merkins. “Everybody had more than enough hair down there.”

About Tony Swartz

Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

Check Also

Cortana Mall to Be Taken Off Life Support

Doctors at Our Lady of Lake Hospital sadly report a former major shopping venue will soon be taken off life support.