With LSU Beer a No-go, SU Introduces “Jag Juice”

In the wake of plans for an LSU beer going flat, Southern University Chancellor Dr. James Llorens announced the school is planning to brew its own alcoholic beverage.

Only days after LSU Chancellor Michael Martin announced the university would no longer pursue the introduction of the much-anticipated, LSU-licensed Bandit Blonde Ale, Llorens told reporters that Southern will roll out an officially licensed spirit called “Jag Juice” later this year.

Llorens said the goal is to help make up for recent deep budget cuts that led to the current state of financial emergency.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we just started laying people off around here,” Llorens said. “We figured we had do something since the governor sure doesn’t seem interested in helping us out.”

[pullquote]“We quickly realized selling jambalaya or chicken dinners just wouldn’t make up for the shortfall.[/pullquote]

Llorens said they considered other revenue streams, but ultimately decided to brew and license a flavored spirit instead.

“We quickly realized selling jambalaya or chicken dinners just wouldn’t make up for the shortfall. So when LSU announced they were brewing a beer, it got us to thinking about doing something like that for the Jaguar Nation,” Llorens said.

“Before you know it, we came up with “˜Jag Juice.’ We’ve just been waiting for the right time to announce it. This seemed like the perfect time since we won’t have to compete with LSU’s beer for attention,” Llorens explained.

Llorens said he anticipates Jag Juice will be available to the public in selected area retail outlets in time for football season, although the exact formula hasn’t been finalized.

“We still haven’t decided if we’re going to go with gin or vodka,” Llorens said, “but we definitely know it’ll come in at least three flavors: grape, orange, and red.”

About Tony Swartz

Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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