Highs and Lows of Sports in 2011

It’s been such a crazy year in athletics, I thought it would be a good idea to review the 2011 sports world. State College, PA, is off the list of top ten towns to raise an underprivileged family, Tebow is better than you, and CP3 left NOLA for second billing in Kia commercials.

After Commish David Stern shut down the deal with the Lakers for Lamar Odom, it was strange to see Chris Paul eventually show up in LA anyway. I was upset at first, but after further review, at least now I don’t have to deal with Khloe Kardashian making a new reality show in New Orleans.

Blake Griffin received a great Christmas gift in newly acquired teammate Paul. It would be nice to see him win a championship, but it’s going to be hard to do that in the West.

It was hard enough to be a basketball fan in New Orleans with Chris Paul. This season’s going to be painful.

Speaking of Jesus’ birthday, how about Tim Tebow? It’s easy to be a hero when your defense keeps you within six points. The Patriots and the Bills finally figured out how to stop him for 60 minutes. I guess NFL defensive coordinators work faster than the Pennsylvania justice system.

“¦at least now I don’t have to deal with Khloe Kardashian making a new reality show in New Orleans.

Tebow’s such a nice guy. It really is hard to hate him. Try all you want, but there’s just nothing bad you can say about Timmy.

Something’s going to happen that will ruin his career. They’re going to find a hooker in his trunk, he’ll fail a drug test for smoking pot, or he will get caught running a pump-and-dump scheme with the real Rudy (that really happened; Google it).

That would be as big of a disappointment as Aaron Rodgers being named the NFL’s MVP ahead of New Orleans’ favorite son. But a Tebow scandal is more likely than a Saints player getting the credit he deserves.

The NFL (or No Fun League) continues to disappoint with the pussification of pro football. Five years ago, the hit that James Harrison put on Colt McCoy would’ve been on the “Jacked Up” segment of Monday Night Football. (How awesome was “Jacked Up”? “C’mon Man” is OK, but I miss watching players inflict pain on one another.) Instead, Harrison got suspended for a game “¦ bullsh””t.

If anything, they should make the sport more violent. These players sign up to get hit. Baseball’s a contact sport; football’s supposed to be a collision sport. If you don’t want to hit or be hit, play golf.

This two-hand touch on the quarterback rule is horsesh””t. These guys are criminals and dog murderers. You’re telling me they can’t be tackled too hard?

Take a look at the guys who used to play the sport, wearing thin leather caps to protect their skulls, using no mouthpieces. That’s when men played the game.

Every year, the Bowl Championship Series ignites controversy between college football fans everywhere. This time, we have LSU playing Alabama again. So we have to beat Alabama twice to prove we’re the best team in the country and they only have to beat us once. At least it’ll be an interesting game.

It’ll probably be the total opposite from the Baylor-Washington matchup in the Alamo Bowl. Credit the offenses all you want, but that was a terrible performance by both defenses. I can’t believe Baylor forced a turnover on downs at the end of the fourth quarter. Poor tackling, one fumble, terrible coverage, hundreds of yards of offense “¦ it was fun to watch.

Like the old saying goes: Offense wins games; defense wins championships. That’s why the No. 1 and No. 2 defenses are playing in the biggest game in the country.

If that doesn’t seem unfair enough, the Saints are going to have to beat the Falcons three times in one season. But at least they have a playoff system in the pros.

My high school alma mater won the LHSAA State Championship, my college is in the National Championship Game, and the Saints are on pace to win another Super Bowl. This could be one helluva trifecta for me in football this year.

As it shakes out, 2011 was a fun year to watch sports. Hope everyone had a great New Year’s and a Merry Christmas. Happy Friday! Enjoy the end of football season.

About Johnny Valentine

Johnny Valentine
Johnny Valentine is striving to be the Hunter S. Thompson of his generation. Take a walk on the wild side with him.

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