GUEST COLUMN: What’s the Big Deal About Pepper Spray, Anyway? – Ron Robichaux, Spicy Food Lover

Off the Wire

Man, pepper spray sure has been in the news a lot lately. Cops are spraying it on protesters from coast to coast. Kids are spraying their classmates at school. Walmart shoppers are using it on other Walmart shoppers.

And these people are going to the hospital because of pepper? What a bunch of pussies!

I mean, this stuff is basically like Zatarain’s crab boil in a spray can, right? At least that’s what the hot chick with the crooked nose on Fox News said, anyway.

The bad guy who wanted to kill Casey Ryback in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory sprayed pepper spray in his mouth like it was Binaca.

So what’s the big deal? After all, the bad guy who wanted to kill Casey Ryback in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory sprayed pepper spray in his mouth like it was Binaca. And you know that shit’s true because it was in a Steven Seagal movie.

If he can do that, then I know it can’t be any hotter than the shit I eat on a regular basis. When I go shopping, I buy Tabasco Sauce by the case. I use a whole bottle of Sriracha sauce on my Asian food. And I’ve eaten so many “Fire in the Hole” wings at Pluckers, they’ve stopped taking my picture each time I finish.

Maybe if all those hippie protesters ate real food like me instead of all that bland tofu and granola, they might have been able to stand their ground and thank the cops for clearing their sinuses instead of being dragged away to the emergency room because they got a little seasoning in their face.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

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