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Mental Vacation

A road trip through one man’s mind.

Romney Unveils Details of Tax Plan

Under increasing pressure from the Obama camp to provide specifics for his plan to increase revenues while reducing the deficit, Mitt Romney announced for the first time the details of his plan. In a prepared statement, Romney promised, if elected, to “keep my personal income tax rate above single digits.” While some scoffed at the feasibility of anyone at Romney’s income level lowering his tax rate below double digits, Romney warned, “I’m not bluffing. I still have numerous tax deductions and loopholes at my disposal. All perfectly legitimate, of course. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” The Republican candidate added, “Don’t vote for me, and I join the 47%.” One economic expert hailed the plan, calling it “a wake-up call” that demonstrated that Romney was serious about making “the tough choices” needed to turn the economy around and be elected president. “This would amount to a significant decrease in the deficit …

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Former NFL Replacement Refs to Officiate LSU-Towson Game

LSU athletic officials announced Friday afternoon that due to lack of fan interest, the LSU-Towson football game will be officiated by former replacement refs let go by the NFL this week. According to LSU Associate Athletic Director Verge Ausberry, the move was made to boost attendance and attract interest in a game that is otherwise expected to be a real snoozer. Vincent defended the scheduling of LSU’s third “rent-a-win” opponent of the season by pointing out that Towson was penciled in only after it was learned that “bigger name” schools such as The Citadel and James Madison were unavailable. “We brought the scrub refs in to give our fans what they deserve – the best bang for their sports entertainment dollar,” Ausberry said. “And the national exposure generated by the refs’ miscues will certainly be worth the extra expense of paying someone who you know will screw up.”

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