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Horrorscopes

The universe is talking; are you listening?

FALALALALALALALALA

This November, Horrorscopes is going up a little late in the month because I've been given so much to be thankful for that I haven't had time to do anything else but be thankful. Can you hear the "thanks"? It's just oozing out of my pores.

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To Have and to Hold

In this instance, “hold” constitutes a legally binding contract in which all property, descendants, and power of attorney are transferred to your spouse in time of duress, or as seen fit by a court of law. It’s June, which means the wedding season is upon us. How fitting, given North Carolina’s insistence last month that they stay firmly rooted in the early 1960s. That little ballot initiative led to a hell of a lot of hoopla in the press, and as usual, the most vocal about it were the least informed. In fact, last month, The Advocate (the Baton Rouge newspaper, not the world’s most widely read gay magazine) published an obviously inflammatory editorial from a retired fisherman in Morgan City. This gentleman insisted that marriage has always existed to make life better for the children, thus rendering gay marriage obsolete. I take particular umbrage at this comment for several …

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