10 Real Reasons Why LSU Fans Love to Hate Alabama

1. Nick Saban remains a key suspect in a brutal 1987 murder.

2. Alabama secretly parked submarines off the Louisiana coast in 1967 and ran nuclear missile drills.

3. The university’s familiar “Roll Tide” chant was taken from an old Central Plumbing TV ad.

4. Since 1952, insurgents and suicide bombers educated at the university’s madrasa have killed more than 43,000 Louisiana residents.

5. Bear Bryant outed Barry Seal to the Medellín Cartel as a CIA informant.

6. Bama boosters have secretly funded a decadeslong propaganda campaign against building a Baton Rouge loop.

7. The Bayou Corne sinkhole was caused by a singularity remotely created by quantum physicists in Tuscaloosa.

8. Harvey Updyke Jr. is personally responsible for Baton Rouge’s nation-leading rate of HIV and AIDS.

9. In a plot long suspected of having ties to Alabama’s KKK, a band of Tuscaloosa thieves stole the gumbo recipe from Commander’s Palace in 1974.

10. Every year, LSU fans have to hear that bullshit about Mardi Gras starting in Mobile.


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Editorial Staff
A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

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