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Poor, Frightened Seniors Comforted by Trump’s Promise Americans Will Say “Merry Christmas” Again

Thousands of low-income elderly Americans scared by proposed draconian federal budget cuts and the prospect of skyrocketing health care costs are taking solace in President Donald Trump’s campaign promise that a venerable holiday greeting will enjoy a resurgence under his leadership.

The knowledge that people in this country once again will say “Merry Christmas” during Trump’s presidency is assuaging fears many senior citizens across the country have about an otherwise bleak future they face if the chief executive manages to enact other aspects of his agenda.

“I was really upset when I heard health insurance premiums for someone like me will go up by over 800% under TrumpCare,” said 68-year-old widow Margaret Hurd, referencing projections derived by the AARP from the GOP’s American Health Care Act bill. “But then a friend reminded me Trump promised people in this country will say ‘Merry Christmas’ instead of ‘happy holidays’ when he’s president. It made me feel so much better.”

Hurd — who lives alone on a fixed income and suffers from severe rheumatoid arthritis, asthma, and high blood pressure — said the thought of millions of Americans greeting each other with the phrase “Merry Christmas” for a few weeks each year makes the idea of no longer affording prescription drugs and regular doctor visits “completely worthwhile.”

“If President Trump can take the money paying for my meals and use it to make people say ‘Merry Christmas’ again, I’m fine with being completely isolated and eating canned dog food.”

In addition to comforting many of the nation’s most vulnerable senior citizens fraught with dire concerns about rising health care costs, the promised ubiquity of “Merry Christmas” also is nourishing the souls of those threatened by a proposal to slash funding to the popular daily nutrition program Meals on Wheels.

“Sometimes, the nice young man who delivers my meals is the only person who visits me all week long,” stated 77-year-old Meals on Wheels beneficiary Octavia Bellue, who lives alone and is no longer able to drive or safely prepare her own meals due to macular degeneration. “But if President Trump can take the money paying for my meals and use it to make people say ‘Merry Christmas’ again, I’m fine with being completely isolated and eating canned dog food.”

After explaining she has no family living nearby to check on her welfare, Bellue added, “Sure, I might die alone in this old, dilapidated house with no heat, and the rats will likely gnaw at my decomposing body before somebody decides to finally come check on me. But if it means putting Christ back in Christmas, it’ll be worth it.”

 

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About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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