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LSU Men’s Basketball Coach Johnny Jones Worried No One Wants to Participate in His NCAA Tournament Office Pool

In a press conference earlier today, LSU men’s basketball coach Johnny Jones addressed concerns about a lack of participation in his annual NCAA men’s basketball tournament office pool.

“By this time last year, I had money from 18 people,” Jones explained, “but other than my two entry fees — I do a second one for fun — no one has showed any interest this year. What gives?”

The selection committee will announce the much-debated March Madness lineup this Sunday, and Jones has been seen knocking on office doors of his staff in a last-minute attempt to coax a few more people into joining the office pool.

When asked why he isn’t participating, assistant coach Robert Kirby insisted, “This in no way means we think Coach Jones is getting fired, or that we won’t be around here by the time the tournament ends. It’s just that when you lose this many games, who wouldn’t be sick of basketball?”

Jones also has considered playing in other people’s tournament pools but has yet to receive any email invitations.

While many feel his staff has been avoiding Jones following a particularly awful basketball season — as well as dodging a man who is on the brink of being terminated — Jones has his own theories for the dearth of participation this year.

“It’s probably the price,” Jones said. “I’ve decided to lower the entry from $20 to $10 in order to get more people interested.”

Jones also has considered playing in other people’s tournament pools but has yet to receive any email invitations.

“If you are looking for some extra participants, my personal email is [email protected] I have the pdf file or can fax you my sheet if it’s easier,” Jones proclaimed.

When asked if he would be willing to participate in the random office pool, where a dollar lets you follow one random team through the entire tournament, Jones said, “I do not leave my money to chance. I take this very seriously and spend countless hours coming up with the perfect bracket. If there’s one thing I know, it’s when one team is better than another, like nearly all the teams in the SEC are compared to us.”

 

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About Robert Rau

Robert Rau
Considered a poor man's Pat Sajak, Robert is a mild mannered state employee by day, entertainer by night.

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