El Rio 728×90 map background
GCF: Athlete in You 728×90

Meth Lab Busted, Cats Herded

The Lafourche Parish Animal Shelter is responding to criticism over the euthanization of 126 cats recovered from a recently busted meth lab.

The lab, run by 60-year-old Bayou Blue resident Sandy Chauvin and her two sons, was in a residence the Lafourche Parish Sheriff’s Office described as “very poor” living conditions yet abundant in feces.

The lab was busted last month, but it took days to remove the 133 cats found in the domicile, seven of which were already dead. The rest were taken to the local shelter and euthanized in what a sleep-deprived and visibly shaken veterinarian called “morally unavoidable circumstances.”

“These fuckers weren’t only coated nose-to-tail in the shit of 130 cats, but also benzene, anhydrous ammonia, and lighter fluid. For fuck’s sake, like half of them burst into flames when sunlight hit ’em.”

“Hey, man! You know how my week started, MAN?! Knock on the ol’ front door, followed by seven dead cats and ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SIX METH-ADDICTED TOXIN SPONGES! That was my fucking Monday! How was yours?!” said the veterinarian, who spoke with The Red Shtick on condition of anonymity, mostly because his statement was taken from behind a thousand-yard stare.

“These fuckers weren’t only coated nose-to-tail in the shit of 130 cats, but also benzene, anhydrous ammonia, and lighter fluid. For fuck’s sake, like half of them burst into flames when sunlight hit ’em,” he continued. “The rest had the shakes so hard from coming off a lifetime of meth exposure that the ones that didn’t kill themselves ran the risk of fighting each other to the death just to suck the amphetamine residue out of each other’s bone marrow.

“You ever hear a cat say your name? My god, they were trying … they were TALKING TO ME.”

 

What Do You Think Of This Shtick?

About Knick Moore

Knick Moore
Knick Moore hasn't been a smoker since 2007. However, this picture is just too stylish to replace.

Check Also

Red Cross Tips on What to Do After a Tornado

The American Red Cross has issued some useful guidelines on what you should do following a tornado strike. Take heed if you and your loved ones are affected by a twister.