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FBI: Millions of Votes Cast Fraudulently for Steve Bannon

Nearly 63 million votes were deceptively cast for Donald Trump’s top adviser Steve Bannon in last year’s presidential election, according to a preliminary report released by the Federal Bureau of Investigation this week.

The report, released Tuesday, indicates the 2016 election was plagued with rampant fraud, the extent of which has never been witnessed in American history.

Every single ballot cast for Trump last fall actually resulted in a vote for Bannon as president, FBI investigators have concluded.

“Over 62 million voters who, in good faith, cast their votes for Donald Trump to be the 45th president of the United States, in reality, were (presumably) unknowingly voting for Steve Bannon,” the report says.

“Voters who thought they were voting for a presidential candidate ended up electing their candidate’s chief adviser instead.”

The FBI’s findings come amid growing speculation about how Bannon, the former executive chairman of the alt-right website Breitbart News, managed to become the most powerful man in the country even though he never publicly campaigned for the position.

“There’s no way to say it other than an unprecedented number of American voters were duped at the polls,” FBI spokesman Michael P. Kortan insisted. “It’s very troubling to think that, in the greatest democracy the world’s ever seen, voters who thought they were voting for a presidential candidate ended up electing their candidate’s chief adviser instead.”

Kortan said the bureau’s investigation into the election fraud will continue to uncover the duplicitous means by which the reclusive Bannon became president.

“We’re still trying to determine how a shadowy figure with white nationalist tendencies could ascend to the presidency of this great nation without ever running for public office,” he said. “We will continue to investigate until we find out, or until President Bannon has us killed in a drone strike.”

 

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About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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